


Holding Onto You

by awkwardblogger



Category: Shameless (US)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angry Ian Gallagher, Bipolar Disorder, Bipolar Ian, Canon-Typical Violence, Coming Out, Custody Arrangements, Custody Battle, Extramarital Affairs, Falling In Love, Family Drama, Homophobia, Homophobic Language, I'm Bad At Tagging, Ian Gallagher and Mandy Milkovich are Best Friends, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Juvenile Detention, M/M, Marijuana, Mental Health Issues, Mickey Milkovich In Jail, Monica fucks things up, Protective Lip Gallagher, Protective Mickey Milkovich, Protective Siblings, Recreational Drug Use, Season/Series 01, Sibling Bonding, Slurs, Worried Mickey
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-26
Updated: 2017-05-06
Packaged: 2018-09-23 16:03:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 24
Words: 36,933
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9664580
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/awkwardblogger/pseuds/awkwardblogger
Summary: When Monica and her girlfriend's crusade to get custody of Liam takes them to court, Ian gets the shock of his life when he learns he isn't Frank's son and his biological father wants custody of him. With all the shock that comes with it, the only person who Ian can even stand is Mickey and their "no strings attached" understanding suddenly isn't so understandable.Cannon compliant up until 01.10 "Nana Gallagher Had An Affair"





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Runaway](https://archiveofourown.org/works/951306) by [ronandhermy](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ronandhermy/pseuds/ronandhermy). 



> Basically this is an AU on what could have happened in Season One but didn't.  
> Not beta read, all mistakes are mine.

Life on the South Side could be pretty hectic, anyone that lived there knew that, but everything was always very consistent. The Kash and Grab would get stolen from all day every day, the police sirens rang out every couple of minutes, gun shots were heard at least once a week and every night you would hear a screaming match from at least one house on your block. It was hectic, but always consistent, and that was the way everyone liked it. Of course, nothing changed the nice consistency of the South Side the Gallagher Family was accustomed to like Monica Gallagher reoccurring after years of being god knows where with god knows who.

This time Monica came back after two years of being gone, with a girlfriend and tales of a better life. Her kids, that she abandoned, couldn’t help but feel hurt at the idea that by leaving them their mother suddenly had a much better life. As if that wasn’t bad enough that she came back, this time Monica announced that she wanted to take Liam.

“No! You don’t just get to abandon your kids and then come back and take your pick of the litter!” Fiona snarled.

The shouting was horrible and shit was hitting the fan. Debbie and Carl, only ten and eight years old, sat in horror while Lip and Ian tried and failed to shield them from the chaos. The two women were shrieking about Liam and whether Monica had the right to take Liam or not. Monica was of the firm belief that she and her girlfriend, Roberta, deserved to raise Liam and Fiona would be god damned if she let that happen.

“We’re not letting you take him, Monica, and we’ll take this to court if we have to!”

“Fuck you, Fiona, he’s my damn son!”

“Your son? He doesn’t even know who you are! You left town when he was two months old!”

“I’m his mother! I have the right to take him! He’s not even Frank’s, it’s not like Frank wants him!”

The screaming was scaring the three small kids, Liam started to cry and Roberta tried to soothe him, only for Ian to snatch him out of her arms. Roberta started a glaring contest with Ian as insults between Monica and Fiona flew.  Debbie was hunched over herself, trying to make herself smaller as if to protect herself from the chaos. Carl’s eyes were blown wide with fear and his hands were shaking. Lip could only take so much of it before he stepped in.

“You’re an unfit parent, Monica! Always have been, always will be. So there’s no way in hell we’re letting you take Liam! Frank may or may not be the father, but we’re the ones raising him and we fucking want him! We’ll settle this shit in fucking court!” Lip snapped.

“What?! You can’t do that!” Monica cried.

“The fuck we can’t. You heard him; we’ll settle this in court.” Fiona backed her brother up before turning to the children. “Let’s go.”

Quickly Lip, Ian and Fiona ushered Carl, Liam and Debbie out of Shelia Jackson’s house, leaving their parents and their partners standing there. As the Gallagher children walked home together, Debbie turned to Fiona.

“Are we really going to take Monica to court?” Debbie asked hesitantly.

“We kind of have to now.” Lip sighed. “It’s the only way we have a fighting chance to keep Liam away from Monica.”

“Why…Why does she only want Liam?” Carl whispered, causing his family to swiftly turn to him. It was rare for Carl to show emotion, especially about their parents. He tended to just act out instead of talk about it. “Is there something wrong with us? Is that why she doesn’t want us?”

Fiona bit her lip and bent down in front of Carl, placing her hands firmly on his shoulders. “Listen to me, Carl, there is absolutely **nothing** wrong with you or any of us. Monica is selfish and careless and she only wants Liam because her girlfriend does. Monica doesn’t care about us and that sucks, but she is the one missing out. Because you and Debbie and Liam and Ian and Lip are all fucking great kids and any parent would be lucky to have you.”

Carl nodded solemnly and Fiona pulled him into a tight hug, tears threatening to spill from her eyes. She heard Debbie sniffle and turned her head to see Lip hugging Debbie and Ian gently rocking Liam in his arms.

Fiona smiled sadly. “C’mon, lets get home and have pancakes for dinner.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The first court appearance.

Fiona had never been so glad that she was dating Steve when he got her lawyer that was willing to take on her case.

 “So you want custody of all five Gallagher children?” The lawyer, Victor Salzmann, asked, looking over a file with “Gallagher” written on it.

“Yes sir. Both my parents aren’t capable of taking care of them and my mother wants to take our youngest brother away, despite the fact that she skipped out when he was two months old.” Fiona told him.

“Well, it’s not going to be an easy case. The system likes to give second chances to mothers, but if they’re as dysfunctional as you say, you’ve got a fighting chance.” Victor told her bluntly. “You said that Monica claimed Liam wasn’t Frank’s son?”

“Yeah.” Fiona confirmed.

“If Liam isn’t Frank’s, who knows if any of us are.” Lip snorted, mostly musing to himself.

“That may play out in our favor. We could bring that up in court and a DNA test will be ordered for Liam without a doubt.” Victor mused. “The judge may order a paternity test on all five children, actually.”

“Wait, really?” Fiona demanded, blinking in surprise. “Just because one may not be Frank’s they all get tested?”

“It’s worth seeing. It speaks to Monica’s character and if one of your siblings has a father out there, they could provide child support.” Victor explained.

“Okay, so we ask the judge to order a paternity test. What else do we have to do?” Lip asks, giving a heavy sigh.

“The judge will ask you about Monica and Frank, how they are as parents, why they aren’t fit to be your parents. Just prepare the children and yourselves for the questioning, it can be hard sometimes.” Victor responded.

Fiona and Lip took his advice and tried their best to prepare Debbie and Carl for the questions they’d be asked on the days leading up to the first court appearance. They seemed to handle it well, even the idea of getting a DNA test didn’t seem to bother them too much. However, Ian wasn’t thrilled at the idea.

“Dude, what’s up your ass?” Lip asked the night before their first court appearance.

“It’s the DNA thing man… I just, I think it’s stupid.” Ian admitted.

“What? Why?” Lip demanded.

“What does us being Frank’s kids or not have to do with Monica being a fit parent? I thought we were just trying to keep Liam away from Monica.” Ian sighed.

“We’re still trying to do that, but we’re also taking it one step further and trying to get Fiona custody of us, so that next time someone calls Family Services, we don’t need to rely on Frank to get us out.” Lip shrugged. “I think it’s a hell of a lot more convenient.”

“I just don’t like it.” Ian grumbled, crossing his arms over his chest and pouting like a little kid. “But I’ll get over it.”

“You have to. Victor really thinks the judge will order the paternity test.” Lip told him, slapping his brother on the back before crawling into bed. “Now get some sleep, we got court tomorrow.”

With a huff, Ian followed his brother’s orders, but his stomach was still in knots. The idea of a DNA test really messed with his head, and Ian couldn’t pin point why. He gave himself a firm shake, in hopes to shake off his uneasiness and drifted into a restless sleep.

When Ian woke, he felt anxiety bubbling deep in his gut, making him want to puke. His brothers were bustling around him, Carl being ushered out of the room to go eat and Lip trying to find something to wear that screamed “respectable”.

“The fuck is going on?” A groggy Ian asked.

“It’s time to get up, dude. We’re leavin’ in like half an hour, get up and get ready.” Lip ordered.

With a yawn and an eye roll, Ian sat up, ignoring Lip as he made a quip about Ian needing to get used to taking orders. Ian went through the motions, getting ready for a day in front of authority, and slumped down the stairs to eat. The table was jittery, everyone chatting and trying to pretend they weren’t anxious for the first appearance. Steve was the only one who didn’t look seriously anxious, but he did look a tad nervous as he smiled at the kids and passed out breakfast.

“I got a van for all of us to take to court for today. I can get it again for the next hearing or whatever too.” Steve told Fiona as they ate.

“That’s great, thanks again Steve.” She said with a soft smile.

“Fiona, I already told you, it’s nothing. Anything I can do to help, just say the word.” Steve told her, pressing a kiss to her hair while Carl barked at them to get a room.

As breakfast came to a close, Ian could barely sit still, his leg bouncing as he sat waiting for his siblings to finish eating.

“Alright Monkeys, get in the van, it’s time to hit the court house.” Fiona called before wresting the children out the door and into the van Steve had stolen for them.

Debbie talked the whole way to the court house while Carl fiddled with anything and everything he could get his hands on. Ian’s leg never stopped bouncing and he could hear Lip grinding his teeth and see Fiona straightening her skirt every five seconds. The anxiety that flooded the van was undeniable, only Liam was oblivious to it all. Not for the first time in his life, Ian found himself jealous of how carefree babies were.

It was a half an hour drive to the courthouse and the atmosphere on the inside was enough to make even Steve fidget with unease. As they made their way into the court room, all of the children were deadly silent and obedient. Carl didn’t say a word about being too old when Fiona told him to hold Lip’s hand and Debbie silently held Ian’s hand while Fiona carried Liam. They waited silently until Frank entered the room, looking irritated and stormed over to them. Lip’s grip on his little brother’s hand tightened and Steve’s eyes settled into a glare as the alcoholic approached.

“What the fuck is this, huh?” Frank demanded in a whisper. “Your mother fucks up so you drag **me** to court? I didn’t do shit!”

“You’re an unfit parent, just like Monica. I’m stopping both of you from fuckin’ up these kids’ lives.” Fiona hissed back, her arms tightening protectively around Liam.

“Oh fuck off.” Frank huffed before moving away, glaring at them as he sat in another row.

Lip and Ian exchanged annoyed glances. Frank always had been a selfish bastard and Fiona was right, if she did win custody, it had the possibility to seriously improve the lives of the Gallagher children. It wasn’t easy for Debbie and Carl to see their dad flake in and out of their lives and Liam would soon be old enough to be hurt by it too. Fiona may have been forced into the role of “mother” but it was her role now and she took it very seriously.

After half an hour of waiting, they were called in front of the judge, Judge Holloway, who looked over the case silently as the lawyers waited to speak.

“Mrs. Gallagher, it appears that you believe your son Liam is not to be the biological son of your husband, Frank Gallagher, who you are separated from?” Judge Holloway asked.

“Yes, your honor. I’m positive Liam isn’t Frank’s.” Monica answered.

“And is there a chance that any of your other children could not be biologically the children of Frank Gallagher?” Judge Holloway demanded.

“I-I-I don’t know. I don’t think so. Uh, I-I’m not sure.” Monica stammered, flustered.

Monica’s face was pink and sweaty as she stumbled over her words, failing to find the right words. Judge Holloway gave a sharp nod.

“Alright. I’m ordering the paternity test of Phillip, Ian, Deborah, Carl and Liam Gallagher. We’ll meet in court again next Thursday. See the clerk and make an appointment to get the paternity tests done.” The Judge told the room firmly.

Monica nodded dumbly and Fiona gave a sharp nod of understanding. Once they were dismissed Fiona began urging the children towards the exit as Monica trailed after them, her girlfriend at her side.

“What the hell was that about? What does Liam’s paternity have to do with anything?” Roberta demanded.

“It’ll let us know if Frank’s Liam’s dad. Hey, who knows, maybe Liam’s real dad is willing to pay child support.” Fiona sneered.

“But why did she ask about the others?” Monica asked, cocking her head to the side and squinting her eyes in confusion.

“They’re slamming your character! Tryin’ to make it sound like you slept around!” Roberta accused.

“We’re just finding out if we’re Frank’s, it’s no big deal. Unless of course, you’ve got something to hide.” Lip taunted, causing Monica to gasp like Lip hit her.

“You watch how you talk to her, you little shit!” Roberta snapped, wrapping an arm protectively around Monica.

Frank watched the interaction before cutting in. “And what about me? In this whole squabble, why was I needed here?”

“Fuck if I know, but we’re takin’ custody away from both of you.” Fiona sneered, before continuing her march out of the court house.


	3. Chapter 3

The house was just as loud as it always was, Liam, Debbie and Carl all playing in the living room like nothing had happened in court today, because basically nothing had. They had made an appointment for the kids to go and get there DNA tested in two days, then the results would be given to the judge and things would continue to be hashed out in court. Fiona was still tense from the interaction with her parents and nerves from how Carl, Debbie and Liam would take a stranger sticking things in their mouths, but her tension was nothing compared to the barrels of anxiety flowing off Ian upstairs in the boys’ bedroom. Lip sat silently, watching his little brother flip through an army magazine. Ian’s leg wouldn’t stop shaking and Lip could tell he was grinding his teeth.

Lip hopped off the top bunk and grabbed a joint he had rolled the night before, then plopped down next to Ian. “What’s going on, man?”

“Nothing, I’m trying to read.” Ian grunted.

“Bullshit. Something’s up with you man.” Lip scoffed, lighting the joint.

With a sigh, Ian snatched the joint out of Lip’s mouth and took a hit. “Mickey’s gay and we’re doing it. Kash caught me and Mickey banging in the back room and shot him in the leg because he was jealous, because Linda caught me and Kash when we were hot and heavy and blackmailed him into having another baby with her and we were banned from sleeping together but now I don’t really wanna fuck Kash anymore. So now Mickey’s in juvie, something about stealing a snickers bar, and Kash and I aren’t really talking and it’s my fault Mickey got shot.”

Lip blinked stupidly. “Holy fucking shit.”

“Yeah, I know.” Ian scoffed.

“It’s like your dick created a Soap Opera, man.” Lip snickered.

“It’s not funny.” Ian huffed, shoving his brother’s arm, but there was no heat behind it.

“A Snickers bar, huh? That’s what Kash said he shot Mickey over?” Lip asked.

Ian nodded wordlessly, taking another hit from the blunt. “It’s stupid as fuck and the cops just went with it. Guess they hate the name Milkovich so much they don’t care what Mickey got shot over.”

“So what are you gonna do?” Lip asked.

“Huh?” Ian blinked, looking at his brother in confusion.

“You gonna deny Kash nookie until he gets Mickey out of jail or something?” Lip questioned. “Bribe the judge to let him out? What’re you gonna do?”

“I’m done fucking Kash!” Ian exclaimed, his nose crinkling up in irritation. “I-I think I might go visit Mickey, but I’m not gonna bribe someone or whatever. It wouldn’t do any good anyway.”

Lip shrugged, taking a hit. “You’re probably right. Just hope you don’t lose your job cause you’re not willing to put out anymore.”

Ian scoffed and elbowed Lip in the ribs, a smile playing on his lips. “Dick.”

Lip barked a laugh and ruffled his little brother’s hair, putting an end to the topic. It felt nice that Ian trusted him enough to tell him this stuff and for Ian, it felt good to finally have it off his chest. They sat in a comfortable silence, passing the joint back and forth until they finished it.

“Dinner!” They heard Fiona shout from the kitchen. “Move it or lose it, monkeys!”

With a soft chuckle, the brothers rushed to the kitchen, knowing Carl would try to take more than his share just to mess with his older brothers. Dinner was comfortable, no one spoke about the court appearance and no one seemed anxious about getting their DNA tested.

The next morning, Ian decided that he was going to visit Mickey in juvie. Despite his best attempts to keep himself from getting attached to Mickey, he had gotten attached anyway. He missed Mickey and now with the custody battle, he wanted Mickey’s company now more than ever, and not even sex, just Mickey’s presence would be enough for him right now.

Ian felt like a girl as he shifted through his wardrobe trying to find something to wear that was nice but didn’t look like he was trying to look nice. If Lip had seen him he would have held this over him for years. He decided to leave while all the rest of the kids were still asleep and only Fiona was awake.

“Hey, where you going?” Fiona asked when she saw Ian walking into the kitchen actually dressed instead of in his boxers.

“Heading out to visit a friend that’s in Juvie.” Ian said, trying his best to play it cool.

“When will you be back?” She demanded, pouring herself a cup of coffee.

“Don’t know yet, probably sometime around lunch.” Ian shrugged.

“Alright, have fun.” Fiona said dismissively.

The trip to Juvie was uneventful, but Ian felt nervous the whole way there. What if Mickey didn’t want to see him? What if he was crossing some sort of boundary?  By the time Ian was starting to second guess himself, it was too late to back out. No one batted an eye as Ian went over to the glass to speak to Mickey. No one asked if he was family, questioned what he was doing there, they just let him on through. Ian probably would have been concerned if he wasn’t so relieved he didn’t have to come up with some lie about his connection to Mickey.

Ian couldn’t fight the smile that etched itself onto his face as he saw Mickey hobbling his way over. Ian was quick to grab the phone, smiling even harder when Mickey picked up the one on his side.

“Thanks for putting money in my commissary account.” Mickey said instead of giving a greeting.

“Wasn’t me. Kash. I told him you could still press charges.” Ian sheepishly explained.

Mickey gave a nod of understanding. A pregnant pause washed over them before Ian whispered into the phone again.

“How long?”

It was a loaded question. How long until you get out? How long until I can be with you again? Mickey shrugged and regurgitated the answer his court appointed lawyer had told him. Ian sighed softly, his eyes reminding Mickey of a kicked puppy, causing his gut to clench. Mickey lunged at the chance to regain control of the conversation, making a pass about stabbing the guy that kept trying to swipe his jello, but it didn’t deter Ian.

“I miss you.” Ian whispered.

“Say that again and I’ll rip your tongue out of your head.” Mickey huffed.

After a second a smile spread out on Ian’s face and Mickey had to fight a smile of his own. Ian laid his hand out on the glass and Mickey snapped at him to take his hand off, eyeing the guards and other inmates to make sure no one saw. Despite Mickey’s attitude, Ian felt better than he had all week and was glad he made the trip.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The court scene is kinda shitty, I've never written anything like it before, so please be gentle. Also, more Mickey and Gallavich should be coming soon, I'm still setting the whole thing up.

Days after their cheeks were swabbed for DNA Debbie and Carl still couldn’t stop talking about it. Something about the idea of someone finding things out through their spit seemed to make them giddy and it was starting to tap dance on Fiona’s last nerve. The anxiety that came with their next court appearance only days away had made her crabby and irritable, and her patience on the topic of DNA was running low.

This court appearance would be more hectic than the last, with the kids being questioned about Frank, Monica and Fiona as caretakers. If it went well, Department of Family Services would send someone to check up on them and the house. As for when they would find out about the DNA, they didn’t yet know.

Fiona spent the days leading up to the next court appearance trying to prepare Carl and Debbie for the questioning, knowing Liam was too young to be questioned and Lip and Ian were old enough to be unfazed by it. Unbeknownst to her, Frank’s brother’s had been contacted when the lab had gotten back the DNA for Ian Gallagher. All three were told that there DNA was needed, court mandated, for a case involving Frank. None of the three brothers were aware, however, that their DNA was going to be tested against that of their own nephew.

The day of the second court appearance was just as nerve wracking as the first. Fiona, Frank and Monica sat in front of the judge, the kids sitting just behind small wooden barrier witnessing the whole thing. The judge began the questions with Lip, as he was the oldest child being fought for custody over.

“Phillip, why don’t you tell me about how the school year has been so far.”  Judge Holloway offered, but Lip knew it wasn’t really an offer, it was a command.

“School’s been good. I’m passing all my classes.” Lip said casually.

“Better than that, I see you have an A in every subject.” Judge Holloway mused.

“Yes sir, I do.” Lip confirmed, not sure what his grades had to do with this.

“School must get stressful for you, even being as smart as you are. Do you go to someone when you’re stressed?” The judge questioned.

“I talk to Fiona or Ian when I’m overwhelmed. Fiona always has an idea on what to do and Ian’s a good listener.” Lip told the judge.

“And I’m sure you must have seen your parents stressed before…”

“Yes, I have.”

“And what do they do when they are stressed?”

“What don’t they do?” Lip snorted. “Frank drinks until he can’t stand, or he tries to score ecstasy. That’s his go to drug for stress when the bar won’t serve him anymore.”

Frank shot his oldest son a threatening glare, something Judge Holloway did not miss. Lip seemed both annoyed and casual, as if Frank’s acts were more annoying than a secret.

“And Monica’s no better. She drinks just as much as Frank, but does more drugs. She gets more upset than Frank does though, because she never takes her medicine.” Lip added.

“And what is the medicine for, Monica?” The judge demanded, his cold eyes turning to Monica.

“I don’t need them.” Was all the woman offered.

“But what were they prescribed to you for?” Holloway pushed.

“Bipolar, but I’m not! They say I am but I’m not! I’m good, really!” Monica announced, causing both Ian and Lip to snort.

“Phillip, Ian, you both seem to disagree. Would you mind telling me why?” Holloway asked.

“Because we remember her episodes.” Lip scoffed. “She’ll go manic and spend all the money buying toys and drugs. She’ll wake us up at crazy hours to have a dance party or go out somewhere.”

“And then she’ll have depressive episodes.” Ian began. “She won’t get out of bed for days, sometimes even weeks. She won’t eat, won’t get changed, won’t bathe. Sometimes she gets so depressed she hurts herself.”

“That was a long time ago, your honor.” Monica said gently. “I’m much better now.”

Judge Holloway’s eyes made it clear he didn’t believe her. He went down the line, asking the kids about school, friends, how their parents helped them, exactly what role Fiona fit in their lives, chores they did around the house, and how their parents behavior had affected them. Once that was all done, he picked up a file and cleared his throat.

“I have the DNA results for the Gallagher children. Mrs. Gallagher, you believed your son Liam was not Frank’s.” Holloway reminded her.

“Yes, I don’t think he’s Frank’s.” She confirmed, looking anxious.

Holloway nodded and looked down at the file. “The DNA shows Liam Gallagher is in fact the biological son of Francis Gallagher.”

“What? How is that possible?” Monica demanded.

“Silence!” Holloway hollered, before returning to the file. “Carl, Deborah and Phillip Gallagher are also the biological children of Francis Gallagher, however Ian Gallagher is not.”

The room was so quiet you could hear a pin drop. Ian felt bile rise in his throat and Monica gaped openly. No one knew what to say, so Holloway spoke again.

“Ian Gallagher is, however, the biological nephew of Francis Gallagher.” Judge Holloway continued.

“You fucked my brother?!” Frank hollered, up on his feet. “How are we supposed to get back together now!”

“I have never, ever had any intention of getting back together with you, Frank!” Monica spat. “You ruined me!”

“Silence! Silence!” Judge Holloway shouted, staring down at the two quarrelling parents as they now sat looking like angry children.

“Ian’s biological father is being informed later today about Ian. Then he will receive a visit for DFS, where he will decide how he would like to proceed on the custody of Ian. Court dismissed!” Judge Holloway said.

Everyone’s eyes were on Ian, staring at him like he had grown a third eye.

“Quit staring at me!” Ian snapped, wrapping his arms around his middle.

“Is Ian still our brother?” Carl asked, causing Ian to inhale sharply.

“Yeah, Buddy, he is. He’s still our brother, but he’s also our cousin.” Fiona said softly, her gentle and kind eyes still on Ian.

“Are they going to take Ian away from us?” Debbie asked, her voice shaky and her eyes wide and brimming with tears.

“Oh Debs.” Ian cooed, wrapping his arms around his sister and rubbing her back gently. “I’m still your brother and nothing is going to change that. Alright, I’m not going anywhere.”

“Well, actually, they might.” Lip interjected, causing Fiona to glare at him and Ian to gape at him. “If Ian’s biological father wants custody of him and is more well off than us, they might give custody of Ian to him.”

“ **NO!** They can’t take him!” Debbie cried, wrapping her arms fiercely tight around Ian’s waist and holding on for dear life, tears springing from her eyes.

“Hey, hey, hey! It’s okay, Debs, that’s all just a bunch of ‘ifs’ right now.” Fiona said soothingly, running her fingers through Debbie’s hair lovingly. “Most people don’t want more kids, so it’s unlikely that Ian’s father will want him. And even if that happens, he’ll still visit and he’ll still be your big brother. Nothing is going to stop Ian from loving you and being your big brother.”

“I don’t want them to take Ian.” Carl whimpered, the child with violent tendencies looked oddly small and frightened.

Fiona and Ian struggled to calm the two younger kids while Lip stared off in the distance. In all honesty, Lip had hoped that the results would show he wasn’t Frank’s. That it was him who had a shot at getting a dad who wanted him, who’d love him. But it wasn’t him who wasn’t Frank’s, it was Ian. Ian, who was his partner in crime, always so reasonable and dependable. Ian deserved this, he deserved a dad who wanted him, who could take him out of the South Side and show him a better life; and Lip was determined to give it to him.

Across town, Clayton and Lucy Gallagher had just gotten a phone call that turned his life upside down. Lucy had always known Clayton had had an affair with Monica Gallagher, but she had been blindsided when she was informed that there was a child, Clayton’s child. She felt enraged and dejected. She felt like she could explode in anger and cry for months.

“DFS would like to come see you for a visit and inspection after the Gallagher home has been seen.” The DA had said.

“Why is the Gallagher home being inspected?” Lucy found herself asking.

“The oldest daughter, Fiona, is trying to get custody of her five siblings. She runs the house, Frank lives elsewhere. It’s customary in custody battles.” Was all the DA could tell them.

Lucy didn’t want to think about it anymore, she desperately wanted a strong drink, but Clayton wanted to speak about it.

“Clayton, I just found out you have a son with **another woman**. I don’t want to talk about this right now.” She snarled at her husband.

Clayton bit his lip and nodded dutifully. He hadn’t been proud of what happened with Monica, but in his mind all he could picture was a Jacob, his twelve year old son, but with Monica’s eyes and living with Frank. The thought made his gut clenched and he worried for that child. Deep in his heart, he already knew what he wanted to do.


	5. Chapter 5

The days leading up to the DFS inspection were gut wrenching for everyone in the Gallagher household. Ian holed himself up in the boys’ room, only coming out to eat or use the bathroom or reassure Debbie that he’s still her brother and still loves her. Everyone stared at him when he came out of his room and he wanted desperately to just run to visit Mickey again. Mickey wouldn’t gape at him like he was some animal in a zoo, Mickey wouldn’t think differently of him.

Ian wished the whole thing was just a bad dream, but it wasn’t. The day before the visit from DFS, Ian finally dragged himself out of the house and went for a five mile run. He was desperate to find something else to think about besides the way his family stared at him like he was going to evaporate into thin air. When Ian returned home from his run, Fiona smiled so hard her face hurt.

“Look, he lives!” Lip joked, roughly throwing an arm around his brother and jostling him a bit.

Ian gave a short laugh, before being tackled in a hug by Debbie.

“Ian!” She cheered, as if she hadn’t seen him the night before.

Everyone was relieved that Ian was finally done moping. Fiona was starting to worry that maybe he was having an episode like Monica, but she also kind of understood. Debbie and Carl had been acting like Ian would disappear if they took their eyes off of him for just a second and Lip had been staring at his brother inquisitively since getting back the DNA results. Carl, who held his real emotions close to his chest, had even been showing anxiety at the idea of Ian leaving and started asking if DFS was going to take Ian away.

Fiona didn’t feel any real worry about Ian being taken away by his biological father, mostly because she knew how men were with children. Not just men too, no person in their right mind wanted extra kids they didn’t ask for and it was unlikely Ian’s dad was going to want to open his house to a kid he never wanted and has never met before. However, she did try to clean up the house to the best of her abilities and show that they were functioning as a family. She wanted so badly to prove to the court that she was a better guardian than Frank and Monica.

The visit from DFS itself wasn’t special. They sent a young Asian woman named Brittany who looked over the house and the kids’ rooms and spoke to everyone. It lasted maybe an hour and then she was gone.

“What, she’s just gone? What does that mean?” Debbie had demanded, panicking.

“I think it’s a good thing, Debs. Means there wasn’t anything to say.” Ian said soothingly.

“I don’t like it.” Debbie huffed, looking much younger than her ten years with a pout on her face and her arms crossed over her chest.

“Don’t worry about it, Debs. I’m sure it’s fine.” Lip told her, ruffling her hair.

That night Steve brought dinner and life continued on. It was surprising that the DFS visit had been so uneventful and it left a peaceful feeling to the Gallaghers. Later, when Clayton and Lucy were being visited by DFS, Lucy couldn’t help but stiffen by how interested Clayton was in understanding how the kids were. The woman, Brittany, had shown them a photo of a boy with red hair, green eyes and a face full of freckles, but Lucy refused to look.

“That’s Ian, your son.” She had told Clayton.

Clayton’s eyes had softened at the picture. Ian looked a lot like Clayton and a lot like Jacob. As they talked more about Ian’s home life, Clayton knew what he wanted to do, and deep down, he knew that he had decided on what to do about Ian the moment he was told he had another child.

“Have you thought about what you would like for Ian’s living arrangements?” Brittany had finally asked.

“I want custody of him, I want him to live with us.” Clayton’s words cut through the air like knives and Lucy inhaled sharply.

“Clayton, may I speak to you in the kitchen?” She gritted out.

With a stiff nod, Clayton followed his wife into the kitchen, fully aware that he was about to face her wrath.

“How could you?” Lucy snarled at her husband, her voice hushed but her tone deadly. “How could you even think of letting him in?”

“I’m not going to turn him away, Lucy, he’s my son!” Clayton exclaimed, exasperated.

“Exactly! Your son! With another fucking woman! Oh no, and not just some random woman, it had to be your sister-in-law!” Lucy shrieked. “You cheated on me and now you want the proof to move in?”

“That is **not** why I want to move him in!” Clayton snapped, slamming his hand down on the counter in front of him. “He’s been living in an overcrowded house with no mother, a father that barely shows up. The kids support themselves, Frank doesn’t work, and they live on the South Side. He probably doesn’t get a lot of food, maybe even starves himself so his little siblings can eat. I want him to move in so I can give him a better life than that, Lucy.”

Lucy blinked in surprise. The picture her husband painted was awful, but it fit with how Monica and Frank Gallagher had been painted. Things were so bad that the 21 year old sister was mostly likely going to be awarded guardianship to all expect Ian, if Clayton wanted to take custody. She could picture the boy, a slightly older version of her own son, living in squalor. Her stomach churned violently.

“I’m not proud of what I did, Luce, but he’s mine and he deserves better than what he was given. I want to be a father to him and I desperately want you to be a mother to him. He’s never had a real mother, just a bipolar drug addict. No one deserves that, no one.” Clayton concluded, his voice gentle but firm.

“You’re right.” She breathed. “No one deserves that.”

“Lucy, I want him, but I’m not going to bring him here just so he can be unwelcome. I need to know you’re in this with me.” Clayton begged. “Please, be in this with me.”

“I am, I’m in this with you.” Lucy whispered, tearing up.

She wiped her eyes and returned to the living room where Brittany sat, trying to act like she hadn’t heard them. Silently, Lucy sat down and smoothed out her skirt.

“We want custody of him.” Lucy said finally, causing Brittany to blink in surprise.

“Okay. I’ll make sure the judge is aware.” Brittany said with a small smile. “It’s good to see a father want to step up for their children. You don’t see it enough in this line of work.”


	6. Chapter 6

For their third court appearance, Steve insisted on coming with them for moral support. The tension was high for the Gallaghers, desperate to hear that Fiona would be their guardian, not Monica or Frank. When they entered the court room, Judge Holloway was sitting there, waiting for them. Fiona walked as fast as she could to take her seat, the others following her example, not even noticing the couple sitting in the court room.

“I have reviewed the DFS reports very carefully. This was not an easy decision to make.” Judge Holloway began. “But I find it in the children’s best interest that Fiona Gallagher be awarded custody of Phillip, Deborah, Carl and Liam Gallagher. However, looking over the reports, I believe it to be in Ian’s best interest that he be placed with Clayton and Lucy Gallagher, his biological father and step mother.”

Suddenly it felt like the world had stopped spinning and there was a roar in Fiona’s ears. No, it wasn’t a roar, it was the shouting of Debbie and Carl, who were grasping their brother tightly and shouting.

“You can’t do that!” Carl shouted. “You can’t take Ian away!”

Ian was silent, his eyes landing on the couple who looked both excited and anxious in the courtroom. His stomach felt queasy and Ian felt the urge to run. Lip was noticing the couple too, only Lip was noticing that they obviously had more money than they did, probably lived on the North Side, and could provide Ian with a better life.

“DFS will come by tomorrow morning to collect Ian and bring him to his father’s house.” Judge Holloway told Fiona, whose mouth was dry all of the sudden and eyes were burning with unshed tears.

Ian stood up quickly, causing eyes to land on him, but he bolted before Fiona could ask what was wrong. Lip ran after him, giving Fiona a half smile before he dashed off. Ian was running as fast as he could out of the courthouse, as if it caused him physical pain to be there. By the time Lip caught up with his brother, he was panting.

“Ian! Dude, where the hell are you going?” Lip demanded once he was done gasping for air.

“Juvie. I-I need to see Mickey.” Ian spit out, tears bubbling in his eyes and his hands shaking.

“Why? What’s he gonna do, offer you a smart ass remark? Cause Ian, if that’s what you want, I can give you that without you taking a bus uptown.” Lip snorted.

“At least Mickey won’t stare at me like I’m a freak!” Ian spat, glaring at his brother. “You think I haven’t noticed how you’ve been staring at me like I’m an alien or something?”

“It’s just been a shock, Ian.” Lip excused, waving his hand dismissively. “Come on, let’s go back to the court house and meet your dad or something.”

“No!” Ian shouted, looking at Lip in horror and taking a leap back. “I don’t want anything to do with them!”

“What? Ian, dude, did you not see them? They’re obviously loaded, man.” Lip scoffed. “They’re gonna take care of you, man.”

“What the-Oh fuck you! You want me to go live with them?” Ian demanded.

“Ian, they’re gonna take you **out** of South Side.” Lip breathed, like it was some holy explanation. “You could have a sweet, sweet life with them.”

“I don’t want that, Lip! I wanna stay with you, with my **family**!” Ian exclaimed, clearly exasperated. “With Debbie, Carl, Fiona, and Liam! They’re my family, not those two cardboard cutouts in the court house! We all have our problems with our circumstances but I like our family, I like how things are! Why can’t you get that?”

Lip stared at Ian in shock as Steve jogged up behind them, snapping Lip out of his mild daze.

“You shouldn’t run off Ian, you scared Fiona.” Steve scolded, causing Ian to scoff.

“Oh, like you have any room to lecture me. Don’t you have another car to steal?” Ian spat in his moment of frustration. “You know what, I’m out of here. Tell Fiona I’ll be back tonight.”

And with that Ian turned on his heel and left, Steve placing a firm hand on Lip’s shoulder to prevent him from chasing after him. When Lip lurched forward to follow Ian, Steve yanked him back.

“What the fuck dude?!” Lip exclaimed, trying to shrug off Steve’s hold. “You’re letting him get away!”

“He needs some time to himself right now, Lip.” Steve told the younger man firmly. “Running after him is just gonna piss him off.”

“He’s got no right to be pissed! He just received the golden ticket out of South Side!” Lip sneered, furious that his little brother couldn’t see the marvelous opportunity that was being handed to him on a silver platter.

“Yeah, but that ‘golden ticket’ has a catch, man.” Steve reminded the teenager in front of him, nudging him roughly.

“He can still visit us on the weekends and come see us whenever he want. It’s not like he won’t be welcome back, he knows that!” Lip huffed.

“Does he?” Steve cocked an eyebrow as he pulled out a cigarette and lit it up.

“Well he fucking should.” Lip grumbled, snatching the cigarette out of Steve’s fingers.

“C’mon, let’s go back. Ian said he’ll come home tonight. Let him cool off a bit.” Steve said gently.

With a sigh, Lip nodded his head and followed Steve back to his siblings. Maybe Steve was right, maybe Ian did just need some space to digest the news. Once Lip reached his siblings, Debbie and Carl demanded to know where Ian went.

“Ian went to visit a friend in juvie. Said he’d be back tonight.” Lip told his siblings in an expressionless tone.

Fiona gave a curt nod as she bounced Liam softly on her hip. Carl seemed content with the answer but Debbie was still biting her lip in concern. Steve crouched down in front of the girl and gently placed a reassuring hand on her shoulder.

“Hey, it’s gonna be okay. Ian just needs some time with his friend right now, but you’ll see him tonight. Everything’s okay, Debs.” Steve proclaimed, getting rewarded with a cautious smile from Debbie.

Fiona beamed at Steve, and if she was a girl on a sit-com, she would have swooned. But she wasn’t a girl on a sit-com, so she ushered the kids into the car and headed home.

Mickey was surprised when he was told he had a visitor. He wasn’t expecting anyone and he felt nervous energy run through his body as he walked down to meet his visitor, preparing for the worst, so he was pleasantly surprised when he saw Ian Gallagher sitting on the other side of the glass, his eyes on the ground and his body shaking. Mickey sat down slowly and picked up the phone, noticing that Ian already had his pressed tightly to the side of his face.

“Gallagher?” Mickey prompted.

“I just came from the courthouse.” Ian whispered into the phone.

“Yeah?” Mickey asked, raising an eyebrow.

“I’m not Frank’s son, I’m his fuckin’ nephew. Monica banged one of his brothers and got knocked up with me.” Ian blurted out into the phone.

Mickey blinked in surprise. Fuck, he hadn’t seen that one coming, and from the look on Ian’s face, he hadn’t expected it either when he found out and he wasn’t handling it too well either.

“Well shit, dude.” Mickey said into the phone.

“The judge gave ‘em custody of me. Frank’s brother. He’s getting’ custody of me. Gonna drag me to the fuckin’ North Side with him and his preppy little wife.” Ian hissed into the phone, his eyes squeezed shut.

“Fuck, Ian. That blows.” Mickey huffed, not knowing what to say.

Ian looked up at Mickey, a sad smile playing on his face, because that was exactly what Ian wanted to hear right now. He wanted someone who got that this wasn’t what he fucking wanted, who saw that this was crazy and a tough blow to his life.

“You wanna talk about it, Firecrotch?” Mickey asked, trying to be supportive, his gut twisting as he spoke.

He knew this was dangerous. Letting Ian know he gave even an inkling of a shit about him was dangerous and could get them both killed. But as he looked at Ian’s glossy green eyes, he couldn’t stop himself.

“No, not even a little.” Ian laughed humorlessly. “That’s why I came to you.”

And for some fucked up reason, this made Mickey smile.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is pretty short and focuses on Ian's relationship with his siblings.

Fiona was waiting for him when Ian got home. He arrived just after dinner had wrapped up, looking drained.

“Hey, how was your little break?” Fiona asked, smiling softly at her brother.

“I’m not made of glass, you don’t gotta talk to me like I’m a fuckin’ baby.” Ian snapped, but there was no real heat behind it, plenty of sadness though.

“I know that, Ian, but it’s been a hard day. Nobody expected that and those fuckers are gonna be here in the morning.” Fiona sighed. “Debs and Carl aren’t handling the news so good, they could really use their big brother right now.”

Ian nodded slowly, knowing all too well how his little sister was with change, and Carl would always seem off when Ian went away for his ROTC training, or at least according to Fiona he did. Ian was a fixture in their lives, one of the few constants that the Gallagher kids had in their lives and he was being ripped away.

“They in the living room?” Ian asked softly, nodding towards the living room where he could hear the TV playing.

Fiona nodded and Ian gave her a small smile before slipping past her and stalking into the living room. Debbie was curled up on the old couch, looking small and vulnerable as she tried to sink into the couch. Carl sat in front of the couch, his arms wrapped protectively around his own waist, a sad frown etched into his young face.

“Hey guys.” Ian croaked, causing the kids’ heads to snap in his direction.

“Ian!” Debbie cried, throwing herself at him.

Ian caught his sister in his arms and held her tight as Carl slammed into him, throwing his arms around Ian and squeezing tight. Ian slipped one arm around Carl, holding his younger siblings to him as they breathed him in.

“Where were you?” Debbie demanded, her voice muffled as her face was pressed into Ian’s side.

“I went to see a friend.” Ian told her. “I shouldn’t have gone right away, I should have stayed with you guys before I went to see him. I’m sorry.”

“I don’t want you to go.” Carl whispered, like it hurt to say.

Ian pulled back and leveled with his siblings, taking a hand from each of them to hold. Debbie was crying freely at the idea of her older brother leaving and Carl was sniffling, batting away tears that slipped from his eyes. Ian’s heart clenched and he wanted so badly to promise them that he wasn’t going anywhere, but it would just hurt them more when he was ripped away in the morning.

“And I don’t want to go, Carl.” Ian admitted, rubbing the back of Carl’s hand with his thumb. “But I don’t have a choice. But that doesn’t mean I’m going to be out of your life, okay? I’m not going away forever. We’re going to fight this, have Fiona see if the lawyer can do anything and I’ll demand that I see you guys every weekend if I have to stay with them. **Nobody** fucks with the Gallaghers, we’re a **family** and we’re gonna do everything we can to fight this.”

Carl gave a teary laugh, a grin playing on his face; Debbie sniffed and rubbed her eyes, a smile fighting it’s way onto her face.

“You’ll fight to stay with us?” Debbie croaked.

“Of course, Debs. You’re my family.” Ian cooed softly, wiping away her tears.

At this point everyone had teary eyes and lumps in their throat, a warm loved feeling clinging to their insides as they all smiled at each other. Ian cleared his throat, quickly wiping away his own tears before plastering on a grin on his face.

“Now who wants to watch a scary movie?” He asked with a mischievous smirk.

“Me!” The two children hollered.

Fiona stood at the doorway with a sad smile on her lips and glassy eyes. She knew that Ian meant everything he had just said, but it wasn’t going to help the pain much in the morning when DFS snatched him away. She finally turned away as Nightmare on Elm Street began to play and Ian bounded into the kitchen to make popcorn, but she knew he had caught her watching.

“You alright, Fi?” He asked as he put a bag of popcorn into the microwave.

“Yeah I’m-No, no I’m not.” Fiona sighed, cutting herself off. Ian turned to look at her and she continued with a sad smile. “These strangers we’ve never met before are taking you away, Ian. How could I be okay? You were right in there, we are gonna fight this, but I don’t think there is much we can do. You’re my brother Ian and I love you; we all love you. None of us want you to go.”

Ian forced a smile, but he wanted to cry again. The microwave beeped loudly and he cleared his throat.

“I’ll gonna bring this out to them. I’ll go pack once they’re absorbed in the movie.” Ian whispered hoarsely.

And with that, Fiona watched Ian clamor back to the living room to pretend everything was okay.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The angst in this chapter is fuckin' real, man.

Packing up all of his belongings was more complicated than Ian thought. He decided to use garbage bags instead of suitcases, the family might need them before he could get them back if he took them, and purposely left things that he knew Carl might want while Ian was gone. Lip had forced him to put his posters and books in his trash bags with his belongings, telling Ian he’d probably want them before they could get it to him.

No one slept well that night, even Liam slept with Steve and Fiona that night because he was too fussy to stay in his crib. When Carl couldn’t sleep in his own bed, he’d usually try to sleep in the van, but he was afraid that when he woke up Ian would be gone and he wouldn’t hear Ian leaving if he slept in the van. Debbie had a nightmare that Ian never came back to them. Fiona’s heart was heavy and the thought of Ian, sweet and reliable Ian, being ripped away from her. But she didn’t picture the teenage boy across the hall; she pictured the baby with a life threateningly high fever, then the three year old needing help to get on the potty, then the six year old coming home from school with a split lip. The boy in her memories had grown into the boy down the hall and her heart clenched and her body repulsed at the idea of another family looking after him.

As sleep evaded Lip, his brain couldn’t help but force him to think about the fact that Ian didn’t want to go with these people. Lip had been so sure that this was what was best for Ian, leaving South Side, but he couldn’t stop replaying Ian’s face in the court room when Judge Holloway said that Ian wouldn’t be staying with them. At first Lip had thought it was horror flashing across Ian’s face, but then it hit him, it was heart break playing on Ian’s face. The argument the brothers had on the street was more than enough to show how Ian felt about this whole thing. Lip had been foolish to think that Ian would be better off with these people, not because they were North Side, but because they weren’t the Gallaghers that Ian loved and Ian wasn’t going to be okay if he was away from his loved ones, his family. And if Lip was honest with himself, the idea of walking into his room and seeing it void of Ian made his stomach churn; but he forced his brother to pack his posters and books none the less. He wanted Ian to feel at home as much as possible with these people and having his posters would help, and if those North Side pricks had a problem with it, they could go fuck themselves.

As for Ian, lying in the bed he’s had for as long as he could remember, in the house he’s lived in since he was a toddler, he was scared that he’d never be able to see it again. He hadn’t lied about fighting the judge’s order but he wasn’t sure it was a fight they could win. His feelings were so overwhelming that he couldn’t even put a damn label on how he was feeling. Ian kept slipping in and out of sleep, waking with a jolt only to fall back asleep again.

After a night of fitful sleep, Fiona decided to make breakfast in hopes to distract the kids when they wake up, so they’d forget for just a second that a representative from Child Protective Services could show up any minute to take Ian. Shortly after the aroma of eggs began to flow through the kitchen, Fiona could hear someone moving around upstairs. One by one the Gallagher children came down the stairs, Debbie first and Ian last. By the time Ian came down stairs, everyone but Fiona and Steve were sitting at the table, eating. The two adults were eating at the counter when their heads snapped up to see Ian stalking down the stairs. Fiona tried to her best to act like it was just another day, grabbing Ian a plate as he made his way over to her, stopping briefly to ruffle Liam’s hair.

“Thanks, Fi.” He said with a smile as he accepted the plate full of eggs and toast.

She smiled back, silently wondering to herself when would be the next time she’d get to cook Ian breakfast and then shoving that thought to the back of her head as she watched Ian plop down next to the Debbie. Debbie was watching Ian like he was about to disappear any second, and he kind of was, just not disappear into thin air. Lip noticed the way his little sister was watching Ian and was quick to take over the conversation at the table by telling gross jokes only kids Carl and Debbie’s age could like. Watching her siblings like that was one of the most painful and heart wrenching things Fiona had seen in a while.

“You okay?” Steve asked in her ear as he came up behind her, wrapping an arm around her waist.

“Yeah, I just don’t want that bitch from CPS to show up and take Ian away. Just look at them, Steve, they need him.” Fiona sighed, gesturing to her younger siblings who were animatedly chattering away at Ian and basking in his attention.  “Look at them, Steve. I want to fight this, but if we lose this fight, it would destroy the kids.”

Steve nodded silently, not knowing what he could say to make it better. He knew Fiona was right though, the younger children relied on their older siblings and if they lost this battle the kids would be the ones who would have to suffer the consequences. Debbie and Carl were both refusing to leave the same room as Ian and staying as close to him as they could as he stood up and offered to wash dishes for Fiona.

“Don’t worry about it, I’ll get it later.” Fiona waved it off, smiling at Ian. “Go spend time with Debbie and Carl, they look ready to burst.”

Ian chuckled, because Fiona was right, Debbie was fidgeting as she tried to get Ian’s attention and Carl was trying to help him with everything he was doing.

“Come on, let’s go watch cartoons.” Ian said, leading his younger siblings into the living room, only to interrupted by the sound of their doorbell.

Steve skirted past the Gallaghers and opened the door, sighing when he saw the woman from CPS. “You’re here for Ian.” He stated, frowning at the woman.

“Yes, I am.” She agreed with a soft smile on her face.

“I’ll go grab his bags.” Fiona said, clearing here throat.

Ian stood frozen in his place, waves of nausea washing over him as his Fiona retuned from the boys’ room with his trash bags. Ian took his trash bags and walked to the CPS worker on shaky legs. He could see Lip holding Debbie tightly as she began to cry and whimper.

“Don’t take him.” Carl croaked. “Please, tell ‘em Ian died or something. Please, don’t take him.”

The woman gave a sad smile but placed a firm hand don Ian’s shoulder. “I’m sorry sweetheart, but I have to take your brother to his father.”

Ian had never felt so overwhelmed in his entire life. He was shaking like a leaf and he wished to be five again, when Fiona’s hugs and Band-Aids and promises that things would get better could fix everything.

Ian turned to his siblings and forced a smile. “I love you.” He told them all and then stepped out of the house.

It felt as if the weight of the world had suddenly fallen onto his shoulders as he climbed into the DFS van. He could see Debbie’s face pressed against the window, tears littering her freckled face. She was silently begging him not to go with her eyes while he could see Carl throwing things and yelling, Fiona scrambling to try and calm him.

“Are you okay, Ian?” The woman who had just forced him out of his own home asked.

“Fuck off.” He snapped, tears bubbling in his eyes as he glared at her.

This wasn’t the first time she had removed a child from their family. She understood that they were hurting when she did, they were angry and sad and bitter. So, she nodded her head and drove the van up to the North Side. Ian cried silently in the eerily quiet car, glaring at the town houses and giggling children playing in their yards. The North Side looked like something out of a TV show, a nice little suburban area and it made Ian want to scream. The van finally came to a holt outside a cushy looking house that had a welcome banner on its garage.

“Your little brother made that, he’s very excited to meet you.” The woman said gently as Ian stared at the banner.

“Brother?” He croaked, looking at her for the first time since glaring at her when they first got in the car.

“Yeah, his name is Jacob and he’s twelve.” She said, recalling what she was told earlier. “Ian, your family is very excited to have you.”

Ian stared blankly at her, trying to process it all. With a smile, she urged him to get out of the car and led him to the front door.

“It’s gonna be okay, Ian.” Was all she offered before knocking on the door, forcing Ian into a new world.


	9. Chapter 9

Clayton Gallagher looked more like Ian than anyone else Ian had ever met. He had red hair, a face full of freckles and Ian’s gangly body structure, but what really stood out was the bright smile on his face. Clayton hadn’t taken his eyes off Ian since the social worker brought him to the house, and then she left, much too quickly for Ian’s liking, leaving him with these strangers.

“Ian, hi, I’m Clayton, I’m… I’m your dad.” Clayton blurted out, grinning like a mad man.

Ian swallowed thickly and resisted the urge to bolt as his eyes zeroed in on a red headed boy standing anxiously in the back of the room, next to a woman with short brown hair, with a nervous smile on his face. Ian assumed that the kid was Jacob, Clayton’s son and his “brother”. He looked and seemed a lot like Clayton, right down to the way they anxiously rocked on the balls of their feet. The kid was staring at him in awe, and Ian realized the social worker hadn’t been lying; the kid really was excited to meet him.

Clayton noticed Ian looking at Jacob and couldn’t help the smile that grew on his face. Jacob had been confused at first when he and Lucy had explained that Clayton had another son and he would be coming to live with them, but quickly became excited at the notion of having a big brother. He waved Jacob over, smiling at his son’s cautious smile before he hesitantly walked over to Clayton’s side.

“Ian, I want you to meet my son Jacob, your brother.” Clayton said, gesturing to Jacob.

“Hi.” Ian muttered, severely uncomfortable with the situation, but Jacob took is for shyness.

“It’s nice to meet you! I’ve been really looking forward to meeting you ever since Dad told me about you. I’ve never had a brother before, but Dad says you have lots of other siblings.” Jacob rambled.

Ian had no idea what to say. All his years of being a big brother and caring for and looking after Debbie, Carl and Liam made him not want to hurt Jacob’s feelings, but the last thing he wanted to do was be here. Much to Ian’s surprise, the person who actually noticed his discomfort, was the woman that had been standing quietly in the back of the room.

“Jacob, why don’t you go to your room for a bit while your father and I talk to Ian, help him get settled and such.” She suggested in a tone that made it clear, it wasn’t really a suggested.

Jacob sighed dramatically and grumbled under his breath, but left the room and seconds later Ian could hear a door slam shut. Clayton gave the woman an exasperated look.

“Lucy, he’s just trying to get to know his brother.” Clayton huffed at the woman.

“I don’t **want** to get to know him. I want to go home.” Ian cut in.

Clayton frowned and Ian cleared his throat, feeling more confident.

“I don’t know why you decided to pull all this, but I don’t care. I’m not your son and you’re not my father; you’re the sperm donor. My family, my brothers and sisters, they need me at home. You need to let me go.” Ian told Clayton firmly, knowing from is experience in foster care nobody wanted mean kids.

“We’re not pulling anything, Ian. You’re here because we want you here.” Clayton said gently, taking a step towards Ian and earning a heated glare. “I know you don’t see me as your dad yet, but I am your dad and I want to take care of you. I wish I had learned about you sooner, so you wouldn’t have had to deal with Frank and Monica, but I didn’t even know you existed until recently. I’m sorry that you feel like I stole you away from your family, and I can promise that you can go see your brothers and sisters whenever you want. However, I don’t feel comfortable with you living on the South Side; it can be dangerous over there.”

Ian snorted, sneering patronizingly. “Yeah, that’s how it is over there. Not all of us grew up being coddled in a cushy little Suburban house. You can cut the shit, Clayton, because I’m not buying it!”

“It’s not shit! It’s true!” Clayton exclaimed, his eyes shining with hurt.

“Bullshit! You just don’t want people to think you don’t care about your ghetto little love child!” Ian snarled.

“You think you’re the only one who’s angry about this?” Lucy cut in, causing Ian’s eyes to snap to her and blink in surprise; he didn’t expect her to say much of anything. “You think you’re the only one who feels hurt and betrayed by this? Well, you aren’t, Ian. I’m sorry that you’re hurting and I’m sorry that you feel betrayed and lied to, but this situation isn’t black and white! It’s full of shades of gray, and no one knows what we’re supposed to be doing, but we’re fucking trying, and that’s more than some people would have done!”

Ian turned his eyes to the ground, being reminded of when Fiona would scold him for acting out when he was angry. He assumed Lucy was Clayton’s wife and Jacob’s mother, the woman Clayton cheated on when he got Monica pregnant, and here she was berating him for lashing out at Clayton. If anything, he expected her to be on his side, angry and wanting Ian out of the house as fast as possible.

“Lucy, he’s entitled to be angry.” Clayton said softly, trying to play peace maker.

“Yes, he is, but that does not mean that he gets to throw a temper tantrum.” Lucy reprimanded curtly. “I’m aware this isn’t the ideal situation, Ian, but this **is** the situation we’re in and we have to handle it. Now, we want to be a part of your life and we want you to be a part of Jacob’s life and we want you to continue to be a part of your siblings lives, but we want you to live here so we can get to know you and do everything in our power to make up for lost time. We care about your wellbeing, we want you to be happy, but none of us are ever going to be happy if you don’t calm down and accept the situation.”

Ian nodded stiffly, gripping his trash bags tightly. He didn’t want to admit it, but Lucy had a point and he felt almost relieved that she wasn’t treating him with kid gloves.

“Clayton, go show Ian to his room, I’m sure he’d like some time to himself now.” Lucy said, patting Clayton’s arm before walking out of the living room.

Clayton nodded, even though Lucy couldn’t see him, and led Ian up the stairs. The two men were silent as Clayton led Ian to a room roughly the size of his own back home, but there was only one bed instead of three. The room was bland and boring in comparison to the one he shared with his brothers back home, and as Clayton left Ian to himself, he couldn’t help but feel lonely.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mandy visits and Ian struggles on the North Side.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm struggling with staying in character for Ian a bit. For most of the first two season he wasn't very violent unless he had to be and he's not exactly tough and scary like Mickey at first. But I feel like Ian would have been trying to be if he had been put in this situation.

It had only been two days since social services handed Ian over to Lucy and Clayton and he was desperate for something **normal**. Everything was too clean and happy and fucking suburban on the North Side and it was overwhelming. He needed something normal, something South Side, so he called Mandy. For Ian, Mandy was one of the best things about South Side, as she was his best friend and his beard. Talking to Mandy was the easiest thing in the whole world for Ian, it always felt good and he knew that she would never judge him, no matter what he said. So, when Clayton announced at breakfast that Jacob’s school was having an open campus and that they would be attending, along with doing some other errands, Ian jumped on the chance to see his best friend. When he gave Clayton and Lucy’s address to Mandy, she didn’t question it and met up with him at the address he sent her.

Seeing Mandy after having not seen her since the beginning of the custody battle was like taking a breath of fresh air and he couldn’t help but tear up when he saw her.

“Shit Gallagher, what did I miss? Are you fucking okay?” She demanded, tackling him in a hug when she saw the tears forming.

“Fuck I missed you.” Ian whispered into her hair, holding his best friend tight to his chest. “Everything has been so fucked up, Mandy.”

She pulled back from the hug and took his hand, just like she would whenever they walked together on the South Side. “Does ‘everything’ explain why we’re in the North Side?”

“I’m not Frank’s son. My real dad, biological dad, lives here.” Ian muttered. “A judge gave him custody of me.”

“What? No! They can’t fucking do that shit! You have a family that needs you!” Mandy roared, clearly pissed for her best friend.

“Trust me, I know.” Ian chuckled humorlessly. “Fiona’s talking to this lawyer her boyfriend is paying for, but so far it doesn’t sound promising. Clayton, my biological dad, says I can go see my family whenever I want. I’m hoping he’s not gonna take it back, but I plan on doing so, seeing them whenever I damn well please.”

“Why don’t you just run away?” Mandy asked.

“If I run away and go back home Fiona could get charged with kidnapping or some shit.” Ian explained. “Plus, they’d find me and it would only make things worse.”

“So, you gonna invite me into your swanky new digs or what, Gallagher?” She asked with a wicked grin.

Ian snorted. “Sure, your highness; let’s go in.”

Ian led Mandy into the house and watched Mandy take in the large suburban home. Mandy’s nose crinkled as she noticed the ceramic figurine children that Lucy collected and she bit back a smile when she found a picture of Jacob.

“This your real dad’s kid or just someone who looks freakishly like you?” Mandy questioned, holding up the picture of Jacob.

Ian rolled his eyes, a smile tugging at his lips. “That’s Jacob, Clayton and Lucy’s son, my half-brother.”

“Clayton and Lucy? Jesus, what are they, a sitcom family or some shit?” Mandy quipped.

Ian laughed, silently agreeing with his best friend, they did kinda sound like a family off a shitty sitcom. Mandy continued to study the living room, scrutinizing every picture, painting and figurine that her eyes landed on. She had a snarky quip for everything in the house and Ian had to admit that he had missed Mandy more than he thought he had.

“I’m bored now. Can we go up to your room now?”  Mandy asked, cocking her head to the side.

“Yeah, sure.” Ian shrugged.

Mandy grinned and snagged Ian’s hand, following him up the carpeted stairs and into his room. Ian’s posters were up on the walls, but he had still yet to unpack most of his belongings, not wanting to become comfortable in the room.

“Jeez, it’s so boring in here.” Mandy sneered, eyeing the mostly barren room. “Did you even bring any of your shit with you?”

“Of course I did.” Ian scoffed defensively. “Don’t you see the posters?”

Mandy raised an eyebrow and pursed her lips. “Ian, I’ve seen your room back home and it’s way more… **you** than this dump! It’s so pristine and… clean in here! It’s disgusting, Ian!”

He snorted a laugh and nodded his head in agreement; the room was disgustingly perfect. It looked like a guest room, a barren unlived in room, but someone did live here. Besides the few posters, there was no sign of life in the room and Mandy was not alright with that.

“Where’s all your stuff?” She demanded.

Ian pointed to the closet, where his trash bags sat holding his clothes, books and a few photos of his family Fiona stashed in there. Mandy sent Ian a devious grin over her shoulder before ripping open a trash bag and dumping all of its contents on the floor.

“Mandy, what the fuck?!” Ian hollered, dashing to start cleaning it up.

“No, leave it!” The snapped, slapping his hands away. “These people think they can just pluck you out of your life and you’ll just go along with their perfect cookie cutter little life? Fuck no! Ian, you need to show them that you aren’t some little kid they can just pluck out of the South Side and mold into a little snob.”

“By trashing my room?” Ian scoffed, raising an eyebrow.

“Well at least it’s a start!” Mandy exclaimed, throwing her hands up. “This perfect little house and perfect little room, it’s not you, Ian. You look **miserable** , Ian, and I hate seeing it. I’m not fucking a fucking genius but I’m trying to figure out how to help. The least you can do is say thank you.”

Ian’s harsh outer shell broke and he smiled softly at her. He wasn’t used to being mean and snippety, normally Ian was the nicer Gallagher brother, but since being dumped with Lucy and Clayton, he’s been trying to channel his inner South Side thug. Mandy was his best friend and she was trying to help, even though she’s new and not very comfortable with showing she cares and trying to help others. She was trying and that was more than most people would do and Ian knew it.

“You’re right. I’m sorry, I’ve been trying to be all tough since I came here but I shouldn’t have been a dick to you.” Ian apologized.

“Damn right you shouldn’t have.” Mandy snapped, before her face began to soften and a small smile toyed on her lips. “It’s okay, just don’t do it again.”

She gave him a playful shove and Ian giggled, shoving her back. They snickered together as Mandy went on dumping Ian’s trash bags onto the floor and letting the clothes spill out all over the floor. Slowly, the two South Side kids put Ian’s books in the empty bookcase and filled the dresser with most of Ian’s clothes, leaving some to litter the ground. Ian carefully put up the pictures of his family, smiling softly as he put up a picture of Debbie pretending to strangle Carl. The room felt and looked much livelier, and as much as Ian hated to admit it, he felt more comfortable in the room.

“See, now this looks more like you.” Mandy said with a grin, wrapping her arms around her best friend’s middle.

“If you say so.” Ian shrugged, grinning back at her.

“I do know best.” Mandy chirped jokingly, earning a playful shove from Ian.

The pair of best friends spent about an hour just lounging around Ian’s new room, telling jokes and telling stories before they heard the front door open and the North Side Gallaghers pour in. When Mandy heard Jacob chatting excitedly, she started tugging on Ian’s hand.

“C’mon, I wanna go meet them.” She urged.

“They’re really boring, I don’t think you like them.” Ian spit out the first excuse he could think of but Mandy knew him too well.

“Cut the bullshit excuses, Gallagher. We’re going downstairs and you are going to introduce us.” Mandy commanded.

Ian huffed irritably, but followed her orders none the less. They linked arms and made their way down the staircase. Jacob spotted them first and responded to the sight in front of him by cocking his head to the side.

“Who are you?” The twelve year old demanded, causing his parents’ heads to snap in Mandy and Ian’s direction.

“Guys, this is Mandy Milkovich, my best friend. Mandy, that’s Jacob, that’s Clayton and that’s Lucy.” Ian introduced them flatly, refusing to call Clayton “dad” like he had asked.

Mandy caught on to the fact that Clayton didn’t want Ian to call him “Clayton” quickly; his flinch gave it away easily. Clayton was desperate to take his rightful place as Ian’s father figure, but Lucy was not as forceful as her husband. She hoped that one day Ian may see her as a mother figure, but she didn’t expect it to happen within the next three years. Ian already had a mother and while Lucy didn’t intend to replace her, she did intend to form a strong bond with her step-son.

“Hi, I’m Jacob!” The young boy chirped, bouncing forward to offer Mandy his hand.

Mandy raised an eyebrow and shook his hand. “Nice to meet you?” She responded, though it sounded more like a question than a statement.

“Um, will Mandy be staying for dinner?” Clayton asked, fiddling with his hands anxiously.

Ian turned to Mandy with a questioning look and a shrug. Mandy Milkovich was not the type of a girl that would fit in in the North Side. She was a Milkovich, though she was probably the nicest, and was tough and was rather intimidating for a teenage girl. She was not someone Ian could see Lucy or Clayton being comfortable around and Jacob was still too young and optimistic to be adverse to being around someone from a world parallel from his own.

“Depends, what are you having?” Mandy asked, a smirk playing on her lips.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lucy continues to shock Ian in all the right ways and Ian returns to the South Side.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More Mickey and Gallavich will be coming, I promise. As for now, enjoy some sweet angst.

“No! Absolutely not!” Ian snarled, jumping to his feet.

“It’s unrealistic for you to still go to Lincoln High School. Fletcher Academy is a great school, you may even like it if you allow yourself to.” Clayton sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose.

It had been the middle of another uncomfortable dinner when Clayton dropped the bomb. He was planning on transferring Ian out of his high school and into a new one on the North Side. Ian had been with the North Side Gallaghers for a week now and he had yet to see his siblings or his home on the South Side. So, news that he would see his side of the city was not something he was looking forward to hearing.

“You can’t just take me out of my school in the middle of the year!” Ian shouted.

“You moved, Ian. You aren’t even living in the district registered for Lincoln High School anymore.” Clayton reminded him. “The school won’t provide transportation to and from school.”

“Then I’ll take the L to the South Side and walk there.” Ian stated rebelliously.

“You’d have to wake up very early to do that and be on time for school.” Clayton scoffed.

“Then I’ll fucking do it!” Ian snapped, glaring firmly at Clayton.

“Ian, you’re being childish and unreasonable!” Clayton snapped.

“Oh fuck you, Clayton! I’m not changing anything more in my life, so get fucking used to it!” Ian sneered.

“ **Enough**!” Lucy shouted, causing both men to shut up and Ian to sit back down. “Ian, you are being childish, but given the circumstances I can see why you are acting this way. Clayton, he’s been taken away from his home and his family. Right now his school is one of the few things that have yet to change, and we aren’t going to mess with that right now. I’ll drive Ian to school and he can take the L to the North Side and walk home. Got it?”

Lucy’s eyes made it clear there was no room for discussion on this matter and Ian couldn’t help but feel a budding respect for her. She didn’t take anyone’s shit and she dealt with every situation she was given with a clear, calm mind.

“I have a job. I’m going to have to start going back to work soon.” Ian told the couple before Lucy could turn away.

“On the South Side?” Jacob asked in awe.

“Yeah, on the South Side.” Ian confirmed, giving the younger ginger boy a strange look.

Jacob was pretty sheltered and thought of the South Side as this strange mystical realm. He listened to everything Ian had to say about it and seemed deeply interested in seeing it for himself.

“Where do you work?” Clayton demanded.

“A convenience store, the Kash and Grab.” Ian answered easily.

“Is it a safe place to work?” Clayton began to grill Ian.

“Safe enough.” Ian huffed, his eyes lowering into slits of hostility.

“How about we go there when I drive you to see your family for the weekend?” Lucy cut in with a suggestion. “That way you can talk to your boss and I can see the place.”

“Sure.” Ian shrugged.

“Can I come too?” Jacob asked excitedly, turning to his mother with big puppy dog eyes.

“No, honey. We won’t be there long and after Ian talks to his boss and I drop him off, I have to go run errands.” Lucy dismissed the idea.

Jacob let out a pitiful huff and cross his arms over his chest. “I never get to do anything.” He grumbled.

For the most part, Ian found Jacob amusing. The kid didn’t realize just how good he had it: two loving parents, a nice house, never worrying about money. So, when Jacob whined about never getting to do anything, Ian found it pretty funny.

“Do you have any big plans with your family?” Lucy asked, her eyes turning to Ian.

Lucy was the only one in the whole house who didn’t seem to mind talking about Ian’s family, or calling them that. Clayton referred to them ever so briefly as his “other family” and Jacob never said anything about it, but Ian could tell that Clayton and Jacob didn’t like the idea of not being included in Ian’s “family”, but Lucy understood.

“I don’t know yet.” Ian admitted as he shoveled his food into his mouth. “Fiona and Lip might throw a party or something.”

“That sounds nice.” Lucy hummed with a soft smile.

Clayton bit his lip as he watched his wife and oldest son chit chat back in forth. He wasn’t comfortable with the idea of Ian returning to the South Side. If it was anything like Clayton remembered it wasn’t a place you’d want to raise a child and Ian’s other family seemed to consist of nothing but children living in a bad neighborhood. Once Ian finished eating he ditched the table to put his dishes in the dish washer and return to hide in his room, as he had been all week. Clayton was really starting to worry about how much Ian was isolating himself from the rest of the world.

“Dad, why doesn’t Ian like me?” Jacob asked softly once Ian was out of sight.

Lucy and Clayton’s gazes met briefly as Clayton turned to face his youngest son.

“Ian doesn’t dislike you, Jacob, he’s just not used to you.” Clayton said gently.

“You don’t have to lie to me, you know.” Jacob grumbled.

“Jake, buddy, I promise you that Ian doesn’t dislike you.” Clayton told his son firmly, meeting Lucy’s gaze one more time before sighing. “Ian dislikes this situation, not you. He doesn’t want to be here, and it’s not because of you. He wants to be back in South Side with his other siblings.”

“But why doesn’t he want to live here?” Jacob demanded, a pout playing on his lips.

“Because he didn’t know your dad was his dad until recently.” Lucy cut in, causing Jacob’s head to snap in her direction.

“How did he not know you were his dad?” Jacob asked, furrowing his brow in confusion.

“Because Ian has a different mom than you, and she told him that someone else was his dad.” Clayton explained.

“Who did he think was his dad?” Jacob questioned, cocking his head to the side.

Clayton met Lucy’s gaze again and nearly cringed. Her eyes were pleading with him to tell Jacob, to tell their son who Ian had grown up thinking his dad was, and as he turned back to look at his son’s gaze, he knew he had to.

“My brother, Ian’s mother’s wife, your Uncle Frank. That’s who Ian thought was his dad, and he didn’t want to be told different.” Clayton sighed, shame washing over him like a tsunami. “His other siblings, the ones that live on the South Side, are his half-siblings, like you are, but they’re also his cousins. It’s a very confusing and messy situation, Jacob, and Ian hates it.”

Jacob tried to make sense of everything he had just been told. He wasn’t stupid, he knew how babies were made, and he knew that his dad had just confessed to sleeping with another man’s wife, but he kept getting stuck on Ian. Ian, his new big brother and apparently his cousin. He wondered what it was like for Ian, having all these siblings and knowing that he wouldn’t be here if his mom hadn’t cheated on his dad; knowing he was different.

“Oh.” Jacob said, he was at a loss for words.

The next morning was shocking for Clayton and Jacob, who had never seen Ian as happy as he was that morning. Ian was practically vibrating with excitement and was doing everything in his power to keep himself buys as he waited for Lucy to be ready to take him home. It kind of hurt Jacob to think that someone that was supposed to be his brother could get so happy at the idea of being away from him, but he forced himself to remember that he barely knew Ian and Ian was going home to his siblings that he’s known their entire lives. Jacob had to remind himself that it had nothing to do with him, and made himself smile on behalf of Ian’s other siblings, who were probably just as ecstatic as Ian was.

Once Lucy was ready to go, Ian was practically shoving her out the door. Ian was excited and happy, his actions reminding Clayton of an over excited puppy. Lucy laughed and let Ian usher her out of the house and into her car.

“Alright Ian, you ready to go home?” Lucy asked as she buckled in, sending a warm smile Ian’s way.

“Definitely.” Ian said, a big bright smile on his face.

Lucy chuckled softly and pulled out of her drive way. She was surprised how nice it was to see Ian smile and get excited like a little kid. As she crossed into the South Side, she listened to Ian point out places he’d been every time they passed a place he’d been before. Once they approached The Kash and Grab, however, Ian didn’t seem as excited and Lucy’s mothering instincts took over.

“What’s wrong, Ian?” She asked.

“Nothing.” Ian lied blatantly.

“I wasn’t born yesterday, Kid.” Lucy said with an unladylike snort. “And we’re not moving until you tell me what’s wrong, so spill.”

Ian was a stubborn little shit, but Lucy was too, so they spent five minutes just sitting silently in the parked car before Ian cracked. With a loud sigh, he turned to face her, a grim expression on his face.

“My boss shot someone that means a lot to me.” Ian admitted, his gaze turning down to the floor.

“Fucking hell…” She breathed, letting the information wash over her. “And you still wanna work there?”

Ian looked up in surprise. He had expected her to say it was too dangerous for him to work there, but here she was surprising him just like she always seemed to.

“It’s where I work. All my paychecks go to the squirrel fund, for when money is too tight. I need the job.” Ian explained with a shrug.

“And you don’t wanna try to work somewhere else?” She questioned.

Ian shook his head and she sighed.

“I figured as much.” Lucy admitted. “Alright, let’s go talk to your boss.”

And with that, they walked into the Kash and Grab together. Kash blinked in surprise when he saw Ian, he stood up straighter and wouldn’t take his eyes off Ian.

“Hey Kash, is Linda here? I moved last week and wanted to talk to her about my schedule.” Ian said, keeping his voice as monotone as possible.

It was impossible to miss the disappointment on Kash’s face, even Lucy seemed to notice it, but he tried to play it off.

“Sure, I’ll bring her right down.” Kash said before disappearing to get Linda.

Much to Ian’s relief, Lucy didn’t ask about Kash’s disappointed face, and let Ian talk to Linda when she came down. Linda was understanding but firm when she set up a new schedule with Ian and he was glad that she down played the whole thing and didn’t ask questions. Once it was all said and done, Ian slipped out the front door before Kash could try and talk with him.

“Come on, let’s get you home.” Lucy said as they reentered her car.

Ian allowed a small smile to spread across his face as Lucy drove him home. The moment Lucy’s silver Honda rolled into Ian’s neighborhood he felt as if he could breathe better. She parked outside of the run down house that Ian grew up in and watched his grin grow.

“Go on, your siblings are waiting for you. I’ll pick you up tomorrow morning. Go have a good time.” Lucy encouraged Ian, giving him a slap on the back.

“See you tomorrow, Aunt Lucy.” Ian chuckled, hopping out of the car.

Lucy rolled her eyes and waited until Ian was on the porch of the run down house before driving away. Ian didn’t bother knocking on the door, he just opened it and made his presence known.

“I’m home!” Ian shouted, preparing for the stampede.

Carl appeared first, shouting happily and throwing himself at his older brother. Debbie came next, V from next door hot on trail, Fiona following after. Once the others had gotten off him, Kev gave him a big bear hug, then Steve gave Ian a bro hug and Lip followed it up with a warm brotherly hug before Liam was passed into his arms.

“I missed you guys so much.” Ian told his family, holding Liam close to his chest.

“We missed you too, Monkey.” Fiona told her brother, ruffling his hair as she did so. “It’s so good to have you home.”

“What’s it like on the North Side?” Debbie asked.

“Boring. Everything’s so clean and neat and the people are so fake.” Ian wrinkled his nose in disgust as he spoke, earning a belly laugh from V.

“That’s rich people for you: fake as a porn star’s tits.” V stated.

Everyone old enough in the room to understand the joke laughed. Ian couldn’t help but notice that Monica and Bob were nowhere in sight.

“Monica and Roberta leave already?” Ian asked.

“Yeah, once they were sure they couldn’t get Liam, they left.” Fiona sighed.

“Figures they show up long enough to fuck everything up and then get to just disappear.” Lip grumbled.

“Sometimes that’s the way things are.” Steve added, earning a glare from both Fiona and V.

Ian shrugged and put Liam down in his play pen before plopping down on the old couch. Privately, he agreed with Lip but he knew that Steve was right. Life fucked people over all the time for no reason, and that’s just the way the world works sometimes.

“Have you gotten any luck with the lawyer yet?” Ian asked.

Fiona’s expression fell and Debbie and Carl turned to their older sister expectantly. Ian felt his heart clench as Fiona bit her lip.

“I’m sorry, Kiddo.” Fiona whispered. “There isn’t a whole lot we can do. Everything looks like it could and will seriously back fire or take years and still get us nowhere.”

“So Ian’s just stuck there?” Debbie demanded, horror and anger obvious on her young face.

“Unfortunately, yeah.” Steve sighed, placing a hand on Fiona’s shoulder as he stood behind her.

“That’s bull!” Carl huffed angrily.

Ian wanted to shout about how unfair it was, he wanted to tell Carl that he was right and refuse to ever leave his house, but he knew nothing good would come from that. Throwing a tantrum wouldn’t get Fiona custody of Ian and it wouldn’t make living with Clayton and his family any easier. His family turned to Ian, expecting him to say something, do something, but he just sat there, frowning at the ground.

“Ian?” V asked softly, tentatively reaching out to Ian. “Are you okay, Handsome?”

“I’m fine.” Ian lied easily, shrugging his shoulders and giving his partner in crime a soft smile.

“You seem off, man.” Kev said, eyeballing Ian with worry etched onto his face.

“I seem off? Why don’t you try living with strangers who want to take over your life and being ripped away from your family and see how normal you seem.” Ian sneered, immediately regretting it when he saw the shocked expression on Kev’s face. “Sorry, I shouldn’t have snapped like that.”

“Oh Ian.” Fiona whispered before pulling him into a hug.

It was the quietest the Gallagher house as ever been. No one dared breathe a word as Fiona held Ian to her chest, tears brimming in her brown eyes as his expressionless façade crumbling as his sister held him close. It was all too much, yet somehow exactly what he needed.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I promised more Mickey and Gallavich but this needed to be put here first. Also, a lot of people have been commenting saying they think Ian's acting like a brat so I just want you to get that he's acting like this because he's just been ripped away from everything he's ever known. The rug has been taken out from under him and he's snapping at everyone near him, which yes is a dick move but is really normal.  
> Please read the note at the end.

After the Gallagher’s had their little moment, things were pretty normal and Ian felt the closest to normal he had since Monica showed up. It felt nice to have his siblings joke around with him and be a part of the Gallagher dysfunction he was so used to. Until he was forced to live without his family, he never imagined he’d miss the Gallagher dysfunction but he had. However, there was something that he was missing more than he ever wanted to admit: Mickey.

Ian was itching to see Mickey again, but it was hard to even leave the North Side house because of Clayton’s hovering and Ian didn’t want to leave his family when he only got to see his family during the weekends. That night, as he slept in the tired old twin bed he’d missed so much, Ian dreamed of Mickey. It wasn’t anything special like them running away together or sexual like them fucking in the back room of the Kash and Grab, it was just Mickey and his rare smiles.

In the morning, if Ian ignored the way Carl stared at him like he might disappear, it was almost as if nothing had changed. He let his siblings control the conversation, speaking only when prompted or to ask questions. When the discussion fell onto the topic of the North Side Gallaghers, Ian was surprised to find it was Debbie that brought them up.

“Do you have any other siblings now?” Debbie asked.

“Yeah, one, Jacob.” Ian told her in between bites of toast.

“Yeah? How old is he?” Lip asked before taking a bite of his own toast.

“Twelve, I think.” Ian answered.

“He a pain in the ass?” Carl asked with a snigger, earning him a shove from Fiona for his language.

“Nah, not really.” Ian shrugged. “He just sorta stares at me a lot and asks me a lot of questions. I think he’s just really excited to have a brother.”

“Sounds like a dork.” Carl said, earning another shove, this time from Lip.

“Leave the kid alone. He’s never had a brother before, he’d allowed to be excited about it for Christ’s sake.” Fiona gave her two cents.

“Give him time; the novelty of it will wear off.” Steve told Ian in what Ian assumed was supposed to be an assuring voice, but Ian didn’t need to be assured.

Ian gave a stiff nod as he found himself with nothing to say. He didn’t mind Jacob, really, but he wasn’t sure how he felt about everyone having an opinion on the kid without having met him. A couple hours later Clayton picked Ian up and drove him back to the North Side. Somehow the journey back to the North Side was both hurt more and less than the first time Ian was driven to the North Side, by the CPS worker.

“Are you not going to say anything to me at all?” Clayton demanded after about fifteen minutes of silence.

Ian shrugged. He didn’t have anything to say to Clayton and he wasn’t going to make small talk just to please the guy. However, this seemed to frustrate Clayton.

“Really, not one word?” He scoffed.

Ian snapped his head towards Clayton and glared at the man. What, this guy expected fucking gratitude? He wanted Ian to what, **thank him** for ripping him away from his family?

“What do you want me to fucking say, huh?” Ian snarled, his words like acid. “You want me to get on my hands and knees and thank you for taking me away from my home, my family? You want me to call you dad and throw a ball around with you? Huh, that what you fuckin’ want? Well newsflash, Clayton, that’s not happening!”

Ian finished his big rant just in time for Clayton to pull up to his big, fancy house and Ian practically sprinted away from the car. He could hear Clayton calling after him, but he refused to stop. Ian marched into the fancy house he refused to call home and barricaded himself in the room he now inhabited with sheer determination to ignore Clayton for as long as humanly possible.

Lucy and Jacob had witnessed Ian’s dramatic entrance and wasted no time interrogating Clayton about it. Clayton told them what had happened in the car and Lucy let out an exasperated sigh.

“What? I didn’t do anything wrong!” Clayton defended himself with an offended look on his face, a hand dramatically clutching his own chest.

“You need to give him time, Clayton.” Lucy pointed out with a look that clearly said “are-you-kidding-me”. “I know you want to bond with him, but he’s not settled in yet. He’s so mad right now and I think he just wants to be left alone.”

“Oh, and you’re the expert on troubled kids.” Clayton sneered.

“Hey, don’t snap at me just because you’re upset!” Lucy snapped back. “I get that this is upsetting, Clayton, but I’m not the bad guy here!”

“Oh and I am?” Clayton demanded, forgetting his pre-teen son was right there.

“No! No one is the bad guy, the situation is the bad guy, and if we don’t stop yelling at each other we’re just going to make things worse!” Lucy groaned, tugging at her hair in frustration.

With a deep sigh, Clayton nodded. “Fuck, you’re right. I’m sorry Luce, I’m just so frustrated. Nothing is turning out like I thought it would.”

Lucy nodded understandingly and pressed a sweet kiss to her husband’s cheek. Jacob, who had watched the small fight between his parents unfold, slipped out of the living room and up the stairs to Ian’s room. Hesitantly, the younger ginger rapt his knuckles against Ian’s door.

“Go away!” Ian shouted through the door.

“It’s-it’s Jacob.” The younger boy stammered. “Can I come in?”

Ian’s mind snapped back to what Fiona had said during breakfast about Jacob being excited to have a brother and thought about how much of a dick he’s been lately.

“Yeah, come in.” Ian croaked out finally, after much deliberation.

In all honesty, Ian wanted to be left alone, but he couldn’t help but picture Carl’s heartbroken face on the body of the red headed kid outside the door when he thought of telling Jacob to go away. The door opened with a rickety squeak and Jacob slipped into the room, shutting the door quickly.

“What’s up?” Ian asked, using the tone he saved for talking to his younger siblings.

“You don’t want to be here.” It was a statement, but the look on Jacob’s face was one of both confusion and sadness.

“You’re right, I don’t.” Ian said, feeling a twinge of guilt.

He didn’t want Jacob thinking it was because of him that Ian didn’t want to be here. Ian would just rather have never discovered he wasn’t Frank’s in the first place, and maybe that made him a dick for wishing he never knew about Jacob or Clayton, but it was the truth. Of course, Ian kept all this to himself and Jacob nodded as he let his older brother’s words sink in. The younger ginger bit his bottom lip and sucked it into his mouth.

“You had another dad, right? Before you found out about my dad?” Jacob asked softly.

“Uh huh, I did. Frank.” Ian confirmed, a picture of Frank forming in his mind, drunk and lying in a pile of filth in an alley somewhere.

“Do you miss him?” Jacob questioned, sitting on the edge of Ian’s full size bed.

“Not really.” Ian admitted. “Frank’s a drunk, doesn’t do much besides drink and fuck things up.”

“Then why aren’t you happy to be here?” Jacob demanded, his face scrunching up in confusion.

“It’s complicated, Jacob.” Ian sighed.

“Don’t talk to me like I’m stupid or a kid because I’m neither! If it’s complicated, explain it! Just stop ignoring me and treating me like I’m some kid because I’m not going away, Ian! I’m not!” Jacob hollered, surprised by his own frustration and anger.

“Because being here means being away from my family! My siblings need me, okay! They need me! They don’t want me as some fashion accessory like Clayton does!” Ian cried. “My little brothers and sister are broken hearted because of this, my older siblings are tight on money because of this! I’m needed there, I have a place there! This isn’t my home and your family isn’t my family!”

“But it could be.” Jacob whimpered, his voice much quieter and hurt now. “We could be your family, this could be your home, if you’d just open up to us.”

“Look, Jacob, it’s not personal-“Ian was cut off by Jacob’s scoff.

“If it’s not personal, why do you ignore me, huh?” Jacob demanded.

“I-I don’t really know. Because I don’t know how to feel about you, I guess.” Ian tried to explain, waving his hands as he spoke. “I don’t dislike you Jacob, I’m mostly just confused by you.”

Jacob’s eyes fell to the floor and he slowly nodded. With a sigh, Ian scooted closer to Jacob and hesitantly put a freckled hand on the younger boy’s shoulder. Jacob turned to look and him, his big brown eyes seeming to sparkle.

“I’m sorry that I’ve been a shitty brother to you. Everything’s just been really difficult lately and I’m not… I’m not handling it very well.” Ian explained.

“Yeah, I kinda noticed.” Jacob said sarcastically, earning a small smile out of Ian.

“How bout I make it up to you? I’m going to visit a friend tomorrow after school, but how about we watch a movie together the day after or something?” Ian offered, ruffling Jacob’s hair, earning a laugh out of the him.

“Alright, sounds good to me.” Jacob chirped, laughter still in his voice.

Ian smiled down at Jacob and silently promised himself that he’d try harder with Jacob. It wasn’t the kid’s fault that all this shit happened. True to her word, Lucy drove Ian to Lincoln High School the next day. Word had gotten around Canaryville that Ian had been taken away by CPS, so the looks he got when he stepped foot into school were overwhelming.

“Ian? I didn’t think you’d be slumming it down here anymore.” Mandy half teased when she saw him.

“I wasn’t gonna let them pull me outta school halfway through the year, Mandy.” Ian scoffed, giving his fake girlfriend’s shoulder a gently and playful shove.

Mandy laughed and took his hand. “Walk me to class?”

Ian nodded and walked her to class, chatting easily with his best friend. He wished he could tell her that he planned to see Mickey after school, he wished he could tell her everything that he’s been doing with Mickey, but he knew better than to wrong a Milkovich.

The school day seemed to drag on forever and once it was finally over, Ian sprinted to catch the next bus uptown. The ride was long and unmemorable, just the way Ian liked his bus rides. This time when he saw Mickey, Ian noticed Mickey had to fight a smile when those blues eyes landed on him.

“What are you doing up here, Gallagher?” Mickey asked into the phone as he sat down.

“I was bored.” Ian lied. “How’s your leg doing?”

“Hurts like a mother fucker cuz these fuckers won’t give me my damn pain pills!” Mickey shouted the first part, earning a snort and an eye roll from the guard, before turning his volume back to normal and speaking into the phone. “But I’ll be off these damn crutches in a few days, so that’s good.”

“Yeah, that’s real good, Mick.” Ian agreed with a small smile.

“Hey, cut the sappy shit.” Mickey hissed in a low voice into the phone, his eyes darting around him. “Don’t want anyone getting ideas.”

Ian nodded stiffly. He got it, this was juvie and being gay would get Mickey torn in half, so if anyone even began to think that there was something going on between Ian and Mickey… Well, it wouldn’t be very pretty.

“Yeah, I understand.” Ian said softly, his eyes meeting Mickey’s. “I understand.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, my grandfather is currently in hospice care and dying. They don' think he'll make it to the end of the week and truthfully, I'm not handling it too well. It may be a while before I update anything. Please, just be patient.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My grandpa passed away on Thursday. On the fifth is the funeral. Sorry that the chapter is so short.

Ian found that Jacob was a pretty sweet kid. Jacob was eager bond and happy to talk about anything and everything. They started off trying to bond with Marvel movies and then it moved to a love for bad action movies. It wasn’t easy, like spending time with Carl, Debbie, Lip, Liam or Fiona could be when he wanted to just spend time with them, but he was trying for Jacob’s sake. Things were tense with Clayton, but Ian fell into a routine with his family, both South Side and North Side. Two months after moving in with Clayton and Lucy, Ian found himself spending a nice Saturday thrift shopping with Mandy.

“You’re supposed to be better at this.” She whined after Ian had supposedly given bad fashion advice for the third time.

“What, I’m not being enough of a fag?” Ian joked.

“Yes, you’re not!” Mandy exclaimed, flinging her hands in the air, earning a belly laugh from her best friend.

“I’ve never claimed to be good at fashion; you just assumed.” Ian reminded her.

With a huff, she went back to the racks to search for more clothes.

“What do you even want new clothes for anyway?” Ian asked as she shifted through the out of date clothes.

“I’ve got my eye on someone.” She admitted.

“Oh?” Ian prompted.

“He’s a sarcastic little piece of shit, but he’s pretty fuckin’ hot and rumor has it he’s got a big dick.” Mandy gabbed, eager to spill her guts.

“Having a big dick doesn’t always mean he knows how to use it.” Ian reminded her.

Mandy snorted a laugh.

“Oh trust me, I know.” She reassured him.

Finally, Mandy found a tank top and pair of jeans she liked. They walked down the streets of the South Side together, happily talking. They got to the Milkovich house and a giant sign caught Ian’s eyes.

“’Welcome Home’?” He questioned, nodding to the sign.

“Mickey’s getting out of juvie today. I have to go pick him up.” Mandy informed Ian. “I didn’t already tell you this?”

“Uh, no, no you didn’t.” He muttered.

“Oh, well I’m gonna snag the bus going uptown in like half an hour to go bring his ass home.” She said with a simple shrug of her shoulders.

“Want some company?” He offered.

“I’d love some, but why are you offering?” She questioned with the famous Milkovich eyebrow raise.

“I’m trying to get on Mickey’s good side, so when we fake break up so you can go get good dick, he doesn’t kill me.” Ian lied.

Mandy pursed her lips and nodded her head. “Makes sense.”

And with that it was decided. Together they took the bus uptown and waited outside for Mickey. The grin on his face was undeniable as he walked towards them, his muscles bulging under his blue wife beater.

“What’s he doin’ here?” Mickey asked, nodding at Ian.

“He thought I needed protection.” Mandy lied.

“You think you know my sister, but you don’t know my sister till you fought my sister.” Mickey said as he gave his sister a hug. “She’s protectin’ your ass.”

Ian fought back a grin, because he’s seen Mandy fight and he knows she could probably take most North Side men he’s met in a fight. Just as the Milkovich siblings were starting to look sweet, Mickey went in for the titty twister and Mandy violently got him off. With a rub of his head, Mickey turned towards the building he had been locked up in for months and stuck up his middle finger.

“Fuck you, fuck you and especially fuck you!” Mickey cried.

“Okay, okay.” Ian chuckled, wrapping one arm around Mandy and urging Mickey to follow as they started to walk to catch the bus back.

The chit-chat with the siblings seemed easier than Ian remembered. Mickey was defensive and aggressive with his words while Mandy had no problem making quick, snippety remarks that sent Ian into fits of laughter. He felt a bit like a third wheel, but for once it wasn’t in a bad way. The only bad thing about it was that Ian didn’t get a chance to really talk to Mickey and as Mandy walked up the stairs leading to her front door, Mickey whispered to Ian.

“Meet me at the dugouts at ten.”

Ian gave a jerky nod and Mickey jogged up the stairs, leaving Ian standing by himself outside of the Milkovich House of Horrors. After a minute, Ian realized he was just standing outside the house and snorted a laugh at himself before beginning walking home. He walked into the house to see Carl and Debbie playing videos games and Lip relaxing. It was good to be home.


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ian meets up with Mickey and Mickey finds himself with a real job for the first time.

Ian met up with Mickey just outside the dugouts. A big smile spread across Ian’s face when he saw his secret lover and he noticed the corners of Mickey’s lips twitch and curl up.

“Yo Gallagher, I brought beer.” Mickey said, tossing a can of beer to Ian, who caught it easily.

“Thanks man.” Ian replied, popping it open and taking a swing as they walked into the dugouts together.

Mickey nodded in acknowledgment and cracked open a beer of his own. For a while they sat in silence, just drinking before Mickey let out a loud belch and turned to Ian with a determined look.

“We gonna chit-chat or you gonna get on me?” Mickey demanded.

With a grin Ian grabbed Mickey, spinning him around and started undoing his belt, Mickey’s chuckle ringing in his ears. The two boys fucked rough and dirty, groans and grunts hanging in the air while sweat clung to skin.  Once they had both cum, Ian pulled away, panting and tucking himself back into his jeans with a grin playing on his lips.

“I’ve always wanted to do that here!” Mickey hollered, pulling his jeans back up with a laugh. “Ever since my coach kicked me off my little league team for pissin’ on first base.”

“I remember that.” Ian chuckled, the memory filling his brain.

“You heard about that?” Mickey asked.

“Nah, I was playin’ second.” Ian told him.

Mickey rolled his eyes, fighting a smile that threatened to take over the short thug’s face. Mickey opened up a new beer and took a swing before Ian grabbed the beer from him and took a swing of his own.

“So how’s drama in Gallagher-land?” Mickey asked casually.

“Oh Mick, I didn’t know you cared.” Ian teased.

But Mickey took it more seriously than Ian expected, giving a rather harsh shove and a ruthless glare.

“I fucking don’t.” Mickey lied with a snarl. “But you keep bitching to me, you pansy ass, so fucking spill.”

And there it is, the famous Mickey Milkovich that was known throughout the South Side, but it was only a façade and Ian was glad that he could privately remind himself of that whenever he felt like it.

“Jesus, no need to lose your shit, Mick; it was a fuckin’ joke.” Ian huffed, brushing off his shirt.

“Whatever.” Mickey muttered, taking a long sip from his beer.

“Things are going pretty good, I guess. I mean, I still miss my siblings and all, but I get to work at the Kash and Grab without Lucy or Clayton bothering me and I see Mandy at school every day. Kash left, took off with his boyfriend, so my job down at the Kash and Grab is real steady now.” Ian trailed on. “Oh hey, maybe you can work at the Kash and Grab now!”

“I ain’t working where I was fuckin’ shot, Firecrotch.” Mickey snorted.

“It’s better than losing a fuckin’ limb at a meat packaging plant.” Ian sing-songed, earning a powerful glare from Mickey. “Look, all I’m saying is Linda could use the help and you need the job for your probation. Why not kill two birds with one stone?”

“Quit it with those stupid metaphors!” Mickey huffed, but there was no real heat.

Ian shrugged but followed Mickey’s order, tossing back a beer while he listened to the crickets chirp and looked up to watch the stars twinkle. Mickey rubbed his thumb along his bottom lip and cleared his throat.

“Let’s pretend I agree to this shit, what would you have me doin’?” Mickey asked, trying to come off as nonchalant and failing.

“I don’t, security I guess. You scare the shit outta people, it would cut down on shoplifting.” Ian mused.

“I could do that.” Mickey agreed.

“Cool, I’ll talk to Linda.” Ian said with a dork smile.

Mickey nodded silently as slurped down his beer before letting out a particularly loud belch. “So, you need more time or you ready for round two, Gingerbread?”

With a devilish grin Ian pushed Mickey up against the fence. Oh, he was **so** ready for round two.

The next morning, Ian was in the kitchen, a fresh stack of pancakes standing proudly on a plate in front of Ian and a bowl full of pancake batter next to him. He was humming happily to himself as he whisked the batter, not even hearing the groans of the tired old stairs as Lip made his way down.

“Ian, what are you doing up? I heard you come in at like one A.M., dude.” Lip said with a soft chuckle and rubbing his tired.

“Not tired.” Ian said easily, continuing to whisk pancake batter with a smile on his freckled face. ”I’m thinking of taking a run after I eat.”

“What? Dude, where did you get this energy?” Lip questioned, looking Ian over, a smile playing on his lips.

“I don’t know, I just have a ton of energy lately.” Ian told his brother with a shrug, pouring the batter into the pan.

“Fuck, wish I had that problem. I’ve been so tired lately, that I almost fell asleep while Karen was blowing me.” Lip whined.

“Ew, gross. Don’t tell me that shit!” Ian cringed in disgust, his nose wrinkled up at the mental image. “Now I’ll never get that image out of my head.”

Lip let out a belly laugh, his lips stinging from stretching so wide. He had missed having Ian around, and even though his brother was acting strange, it was so good to have him back, even if it was just for the weekend. Lip stole some pancakes from the snack and happily went to town on them. Eventually the aroma of pancakes lured the rest of the Gallaghers out of bed and down the stairs. Once everyone was fed, Ian took his run, running eight miles before returning home.

“Wow, look at you!” Fiona said as Ian walked back into the house, drenched in sweat. “You training for a marathon or something, Ian?”

“That’s not a bad idea.” Ian hummed with a thoughtful smile. “I should look into that.”

“Heh, well I hope you find one.” She said hesitantly, looking him over before giving him a pat on the shoulder. “Go shower, Runner Boy. You have work in an hour and you stink worse than Liam’s diapers.”

Ian threw his head back as he laughed, remember wanting to staple his nostrils closed when Liam got diarrhea a few months back. It had been single handedly one of the most horrific stenches Ian has ever had the displeasure of smelling. He just about near cried when it lasted for two days.

“I don’t think that’s possible, Fi.” Ian called over his shoulder as he climbed the stairs.

The water pressure in the house he grew up in was shit compared to the new house. Most things in the old house was shit compared to the new house, but yet Ian felt more comfortable in the fungus infested shower with shitty water pressure than the giant, glorious shower that never seemed to run out of hot water in the new house.

The towels were thin and worn out, the threat beginning to unravel and covered in stains from years of use. The new house had large, fluffy towels that Ian had been amazed at when he first moved in and maybe still was, but he still preferred the stained old towels. He realized that he was learning how to accept the new home, even though it wasn’t his favorite and briefly wondered if this was a bad thing.

Once he had showered and dressed he bid his family goodbye and walked to the Kash and Grab. Linda barked orders to him through a walkie-talkie as he opened up the store. When Linda first got the walkie-talkies it had pissed Ian off but he was used to it now. Around lunch time Ian went to the upstairs apartment with a sandwich for Linda.

“Thanks Ian.” She said softly as she accepted the sandwich.

“How are you feeling?” He asked, his eyes falling on her baby bump.

“I’m alright, just stressed.” She told him.

“So, I’ve been thinking about the shoplifting problem and I may have found the answer to our problem.” Ian mused.

Linda’s eyebrows shot up and she pursed her lips. Linda was a skeptical person and Ian knew she wasn’t just going to buy into it.

“Oh and what might that be?” She demanded.

“Mickey Milkovich. He’s looking for a job. I think if we hire him as security for the Kash and Grab no one would dare try to steal from us again.” Ian explained.

“I’m sorry, I must be losing it because it sounds like you just suggested I hire the neighborhood thug.” Linda scoffed.

“Look, I know it sounds crazy, but he needs a job or else he’ll go back to juvie and he doesn’t want that. At least think about it, please Linda.”

She looked at him and sighed. “We really do need people to stop stealing.”

Ian felt the corners of his lips tug upwards as Linda caved.

“Fine, but we’re starting with a trial basis!” She huffed.

“Of course, thank you Linda.” Ian exclaimed and went back to work downstairs, leaving Linda to wonder why Ian was helping Mickey Milkovich out anyway.


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ian's energy runs out and reality hits hard.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nanowrimo has something called Camp NanoWriMo and I'm using this for it. Writing is helping me deal with losing my grandpa. Thanks for your condolences.

Ian’s new found energy had begun to show itself in almost every aspect of his life now. He had more energy at work, and motivation to come every day with Mickey there. At school he was working harder and pulling off better grades. At home he was doing extra chores and helped Lucy clean after Jacob had a small party.

“You’re so helpful, Ian! Usually it takes me forever to clean the house.” Lucy told her step-son, basking in the afterglow of finishing the big clean up.

“I felt like a Spring Clean, and Jacob had made such a mess, it just seemed like the thing to do.” Ian said with a big ole grin.

“You’re a good kid, Ian. You know that?” She grinned, reaching up to gently smooth down his hair.

“Yeah, yeah.” Ian chuckled, rolling his eyes with a good natured grin. “We should tackle the garage next!”

“Heh! No thanks, I’d rather not get lost in the sea of junk.” Lucy snorted.

“Well, I’m gonna do it.” Ian boasted, waggling his eyebrows.

“Good luck.” Lucy chirped, patting Ian’s shoulder as he headed off to the garage.

He was just started to get used to barley sleeping. It was like he couldn’t sleep, he’d go to sleep and wake up three hours later. Things were amazing and life was going the best it ever had, Ian was flying high. However, with all this new energy and happiness, he hadn’t expected anything bad to come out of it, until something did. He crashed. He woke feeling drained and empty, as if every drop of energy he had had been sucked from his body until he had none left. He laid in bed for hours, just lying there and doing nothing else. After several hours, the door opened and Jacob entered and tried to get Ian to get up to no avail. Jacob threw things and shook Ian, but Ian didn’t move thus scaring Jacob and making him back out of the room in fear.

“Mom! Dad! Come quick!” Jacob hollered, his voice high pitched and panicked.

Lucy sprinted to her son, who was staring with pure terror in front of Ian’s room. Clayton was on her heels, getting there only seconds after herself.

“Baby, what’s wrong?” She demanded, firmly grasping his shoulders.

“It’s Ian! Look!” He cried, pointing into Ian’s room.

Ian laid stone faced in his bed. The sheets had been ripped from the bed along with the covers. Books and trinkets littered the floor and Jacob had tears in his eyes.

“Baby, what are you talking about? Ian’s just lying in bed.” Lucy said dismissively chuckling.

“He won’t get up, Mom. He’s been like that for almost twenty minutes.” Jacob whimpered.

“Nothing is wrong, Jacob. Ian, come on, get up, you’re scaring him.” Clayton said with a huff.

But Ian didn’t move, not even a little bit. Lucy sighed and her shoulders drooped.

“Ian, get up.” Lucy said.

But still, he didn’t move. No recollection on his face, nothing to suggest he even heard them. Lucy pursed her lips and walked into the room. She pulled back the curtains so light poured into the room and Ian rolled to his side, curling up in a protective ball.

“Ian, get up. You’re acting immature.” Lucy commanded.

Nothing.

“Ian get up!” She shouted this time.

Still no reaction.

She reached over and shook his shoulder. “Ian, get up now!”

“Just leave me alone!” He snarled.

Lucy blinked and stepped back. Jacob was crying and watching as it all played out, standing next to Clayton whose face showed concern.

“Fine, I’ll go, but you better be up when I come back.” She huffed.

When she return half an hour later, he hadn’t moved and Lucy was now concerned.

“What the hell is going on?” She hissed to Clayton as she paced.

“I don’t know, Luce. I really don’t know.” Clayton whispered.

“Well, what do we do?” She demanded.

“I think we should take him to a doctor, get him checked out.” Clayton suggested.

“Oh, and how do you propose we do that?” She huffed in frustration. “We can’t even get him to sit up, how the fuck are we gonna get him to a doctor’s office?”

“Just make an appointment, I’ll figure it out!” Clayton snapped.

“Don’t yell at me Clayton, I’m just as frustrated as you are.” She clicked her tongue at him.

He sighed and gave a tired apology, which she accepted and made the call, getting them an appointment for later that day. When it was time to go, Clayton tried once more to get Ian to get up and Ian only muttered to Clayton to go away. With a concerned frown, Clayton picked Ian up in his arms, struggling under Ian’s weight and carried him to the car.

“Jesus Clayton, are you planning on carrying him in?” Lucy demanded.

“Seeing as he won’t walk himself in, yes.” He said, gasping for air as he laid Ian out in the back seat and buckled his first born in.

“Clayton, this is really scaring me.” She admitted, causing her husband’s head to snap in her direction.

He gave her a small smile and wrapped his arms around her, holding her close and tight before letting go with a slight sigh.

“The doctors will figure this out, Luce.” Clayton reassured his wife before pressing a kiss to her forehead.

She silently nodded and they drove to their doctor’s office. Lucy ended up getting the office to let them borrow a wheel chair to bring Ian in and Clayton still had to pick Ian up to get him into the chair. Ian didn’t even seem embarrassed to be out in public in only his pajamas as they sat with him in the waiting room. People stared at Ian and silently judged him and Clayton and Lucy for letting Ian out of the house in only his pajamas. As they sat anxiously in the waiting room, Lucy ran his fingers through Ian’s hair, quietly whispering to him.

“Do you know where you are, Ian? You’re at the doctor. The doctor is gonna see you and figure out why you’re like this.” Lucy whispered to her step-son as she threaded her fingers through his red hair that looked almost exactly like her son’s.

When Jacob was little, Lucy threading her fingers through his hair was his favorite thing. He would always close his eyes and lean into her touch. Ian didn’t lean into her touch or react to her touch. If Ian heard her, he showed no recollection of the words or that she even spoke. Lucy didn’t realize how much she had begun to care for her step-son until that moment. Her heart broke as she watched him stare blankly off into space. The only movement he even made came in the form of blinking his eyes, Ian’s arms were still thrown across his body awkwardly from when Clayton put him in the chair. Lucy wanted to look away, she really did, but she was scared that if she did he would disappear. Finally, Ian’s name was called.

“Ian Gallagher.” The nurse read off.

Lucy and Clayton jumped to their feet and Clayton wheeled Ian back. The nurse stopped at the scale and the couple shared a look.

“We can’t get him to stand up. There’s no way we can get him on the scale for a good judgment of his weight.” Clayton informed the nurse.

“I’ll make note of it.” The nurse said with a nod.

They continued on to an office and Clayton once again had to pick Ian up to get him on the exam table. They watched as Ian opened his mouth for the thermometer and let the nurse take his blood pressure and measure his heart beat.

“What seems to be the problem?” The nurse asked, she was addressing Ian but he did not answer her.

“He wouldn’t get out of bed. He wouldn’t move at all. Our other son, his brother, Jacob, destroyed things trying to get him to get up.” Clayton explained, his hand gripping Lucy’s tight.

“How was his behavior before this?” The nurse questioned.

“Happy. He always had a smile on his face, he was doing extra studying, helping more around the house, taking more responsibility at work. He was going for eight mile runs every day and doing great in school.” Lucy recalled.

She could see him in her mind, a smile on his place as he lent over an Algebra textbook, studying for an upcoming test. He had been a ball of energy and now he was like a corpse.

“Alright, the doctor will be right in.” The nurse said, nodding down at her notes.

“Thank you.” Clayton said, voice short and chipped.

The nurse slipped out the door and the couple was left with nothing to do but stare at the boy in front of them as he sat there like a mindless zombie. When the door opened again a doctor clutching a laptop came in.

“Hello, I’m Doctor Horowitz. How are you doing?’ The doctor asked, shaking both Lucy and Clayton’s hand before offering his hand to Ian.

Ian didn’t react, didn’t even look at the hand, just sat there. Finally the doctor let his hand drop and he placed his laptop on the counter and opened up his notes.

“The nurse said that Ian had been happy and had a lot of energy before this and that this morning you couldn’t get him out of bed or react. Is that correct?” Doctor Horowitz asked for clarification.

“Yes, that’s correct.” Lucy croaked.

“I need to ask you some rather personal questions and it’s extremely important that you answer honestly. First of all, is Ian taking drugs?” Doctor Horowitz asked.

“I think he smokes pot around once a week, but that’s it.” Clayton offered.

“Okay, that’s good. Second, is there a family history of mental illness?” Doctor Horowitz demanded.

“Not on my side, but his biological mother, Monica, is bipolar.” Clayton said truthfully.

Doctor Horowitz took a deep breath and stared at his laptop before turning back to the married couple.

“I believe Ian has Bipolar Disorder, Bipolar 1 to be specific and the family history backs up the theory. I’m going to prescribe him some Lithium and he needs to take it. If you have to force feed them to him, do it or admit him to a hospital. I believe Ian was having a manic episode and is now having a depressive episode.” The doctor laid it all out. “It’s very important that Ian takes his medications and he starts seeing a therapist and psychologist.”

“Oh my god.” Lucy breathed, her eyes darting back to her step-son and his stone blank stare.

Her heart clenched as she thought about the horror stories she heard about Ian’s mother and her own bipolar disorder. Her disorder had helped her destroy her family and now it had been passed down to Ian, the troubled but kind boy that spent hours trying to bond with Jacob just to make the boy happy. Clayton began talking to the doctor about psychologists and therapists in the area, asking if the doctor knew any practices that specialized in cases like Ian’s and took their insurance, but she tuned it out and just watched Ian.

Once they left the prescription had been called in and Lucy insisted on sitting in the back with Ian and helping Clayton carry Ian back into the house. They placed him on the large couch in the living room and she lied a blanket her own mother had knitted out on Ian and tucked it around him. She sat and watched him until her step-son fell asleep and Clayton left to pick up the medication. It wasn’t until she was sitting in her own living room with her sick step-son, her own son staying with friends for the next couple days, something they arranged when they got scared for Ian, that she let herself break. She sobbed and sobbed for Ian. She wailed for his lost innocence, for the pain he was in that he didn’t deserve, she cried for the years he would spend trying to manage a disease he had never wanted. She balled for Ian and everything this disease would mean to his young life.


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> News of Ian's disorder spreads and there are differing opinions how to support Ian.

Fiona got the call the next morning from an emotional Lucy, who had found that once she started crying she couldn’t stop. Fiona had picked up the phone despite breakfast being in full swing.

“Hello?” Fiona greeted.

“Fiona, it’s Lucy Gallagher. I-I need to talk to you about Ian.” Lucy said, feeling her eyes begin to water once again.

Fiona sat up straighter; all of her focus and concentration was now on this phone call. She gave up on trying to feed Liam for the moment, handing the toddler fork over to Debbie to try and feed the kid.

“What about Ian? Is he okay?” Fiona demanded, causing Lip’s head to snap up and his eyes to bore into hers.

“No, not really.” Lucy admitted. “Yesterday he was acting very concerning so Clayton and I took him to the doctor. Fiona, oh Fiona I’m so sorry to tell you over the phone; Ian is bipolar.”

Fiona felt like the earth had shattered. Her brain pictured one of Monica’s depressive episodes but replaced Monica’s face with Ian’s and Fiona thought she might lose her breakfast.

“Fuck!” Fiona swore. “Did you get him medicine?” She demanded.

“Yes, the doctor prescribed him Lithium. Clayton’s getting him to take it now.” Lucy answered sadly.

Upstairs, Clayton was indeed giving Ian his medicine. The boy easily accepted the medication and swallowed it without hesitation. It bothered Clayton how easy it was for Ian to just accept and swallow whatever was placed in his mouth. It was painful to watch, Ian was like a zombie, accepting whatever was placed in his mouth and still so depressed that all he could do was lay there. No matter how shaky the relationship between Clayton and Ian was, it was like a knife to the heart to watch his son sit there and suffer and not even have the energy or strength to cry out for help. But the worst part, the worst part of it all, was that there was **nothing** else Clayton could do other than get Ian to take his medicine and hold his hand.

Downstairs Lucy was feeling similar things as she heard Fiona’s heart break over the phone. On the South Side Fiona felt like a bullet would have been less painful than Ian being hurt, than Ian suffering. She remembered Monica’s episodes, both mania and depressive, she remembered it too well and she would never forget the pain Monica was obviously in during her depressive episodes.

“What happening? Where is he?” Fiona demanded.

“He’s in his room. We’re gonna keep the door open until Ian can get out of bed on his own.” Lucy told the surrogate mother to her step-son.

Fiona took a deep breath and nodded to herself. She could picture him, curled up in a big bed with Clayton looming over him with a concerned expression on his face. It was a lot nicer than what Monica got, but it wasn’t enough for her.

“Okay, okay. I, um, I’m coming to get him.” Fiona said, brushing her hair back with her free hand.

“What? Fiona, I understand your concern but he’s safe here.” Lucy attempted to reassure Fiona.

“I know he’ll be safe there but he will not be comfortable there.” Fiona responded.

“I’m sorry you feel that way but we’re doing everything in our power to make sure he is comfortable and happy.” Lucy told Fiona.

“I’m sure you are but it’s not the same, you **aren’t** his **family**! You can’t take care of him the way  I can. Ian needs his **family** right now.” Fiona stressed.

Lucy was a lot of things, but stupid was not and never would be one of them. She was well aware that Ian’s first choice of a place to live was not her house. She knew that Ian’s siblings would **always** come first. She understood that this was a horrible situation that had just gotten worse, but she also knew that despite it all she **cared** about Ian and Ian was her family, whether he liked it or not.

“I may not be his blood, but Ian is my **son**. He’s my step-son and I care for him like my own.” Lucy stated firmly.

“You care for Ian? How fucking nice for you! I’m coming for Ian, **we’re** coming for Ian!” Fiona spat.

And that was it, she hung up the phone, turned to her siblings and let tears fall freely from her eyes.

“Ian was just diagnosed with bipolar. He’s having a depressive episode and we need to go see him. Now.” Fiona told them.

The staring she received was unsettling and tears were bubbling up in Debbie’s eyes. Carl’s eyes were widening and he looked shaky and Lip, Lip just felt sick. Steve was quick to stand up and offer to drive them to the North Side to see Ian. The journey to the North Side was like a dream, a haunting dream that no one wanted to have. They could picture Ian, haunted and lost like they had seen their mother so many times before.

Lucy opened the door with a haunted expression on her face.

“Hello, come in.” She said shortly and let them in.

“Where’s Ian?” Lip demanded, his eyes set to slits of protective big brother anger.

“He’s in his room, Clayton’s still there with him.”  Lucy told them, gesturing to the staircase.

Fiona was the first to push ahead from the group and rush up the stairs. She went to the room with the open door, and peaked her head in. The lights were on and the room needed to be cleaned, there was a plate full of toast and a glass of water on the dresser next to the bed. Ian was lying in fetal position with a plaid blanket cocooned around him. Clayton was sitting in a chair next to Ian’s bed and his eyes were heavy and his face was drained. For the first time, Fiona saw that Clayton was Ian’s **father**. He wasn’t a drunk that stole from them and violated their safety and happiness, he was a father that sat in a chair and watched his first born just to make sure he was **safe.**

“Hey.” Fiona croaked.

“Hi Fiona. Lucy told me you were coming to see Ian.” Clayton said, and Fiona noticed that he was holding Ian’s hand.

She nodded and sat herself down next to Ian and brushed his soft hair out of his face. She heard a creak and looked to see Lip standing at the door and Carl and Debbie creep into the room. Steve stood behind Lip, holding Liam in his arms who was squirming, trying to get put down, so Steve put him down. He three children, Debbie, Carl and Liam all climbed into the bed and cuddled around their brother.

“Ian, it’s Debbie.” The little girl whispered.

Ian blinked as Carl decided to join in. “It’s Carl, I’m right here. We’re all here, even Liam and Fiona and Lip. We love you.”

Carl reached a small and up and touched Ian’s cheek and Ian leaned into it with a soft sigh. That soft sigh somehow was enough to make Fiona cry.


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Milkovichs learn of Ian's disease and Mickey takes a look back on everything with Ian.

It took almost two days for the medicine to start to kick in and Ian to be able to get out of bed. The South Side Gallaghers had refused to leave until he was up. Okay was not a word most would use to describe Ian when he finally got up, as he felt numb and quickly tried to throw out his medicine. Clayton caught him carrying the pills to the bathroom and figured it out, snatching the pills back and getting in an all-out screaming match with Ian. The doctors said if Ian refused to take his meds he’d have to be hospitalized and Clayton took their word as gospel.  At one point Fiona had tried to argue with it, but it didn’t end well for her.

“Monica almost never takes her meds and we don’t put her in a hospital just because.” Fiona had said.

“If you think I’m going to treat Ian the way you handle Monica, you can get the fuck out of my house.” Clayton had snarled at his niece. “That woman can’t do anything right and you want me to take advice on bipolar based on her? I knew you didn’t finish school Fiona, but I never thought you were stupid.”

Fiona heard Lucy grumble about Clayton needing to be nicer to his niece, but the look Lip was giving her told her that her uncle was right and she shamefully bowed her head. Ian was warned that if he refused to take his medicine or tried to get rid of his pills again he would be spending time in the hospital. The red-headed boy had remained silent and the South Side Gallaghers made their return to the South Side. Frank had inhabited the house while they were gone, so Lip and Fiona had to get rid of him before they could settle back in.

They were unwinding in the living room when loud knocks were delivered to the door. With an exasperated sigh Lip pushed himself off the couch and opened the door to reveal Mandy Milkovich, looking both worried and irritated.

“Mandy, the fuck are you doing here?” Lip asked, raising an eyebrow. “You know Ian doesn’t live here anymore, right?”

“Of course I know that, fuckhead.” She sneered. “But he hasn’t been answering my texts and I’m fucking worried about his ass so I’m here to ask you, dick face, if you’ve heard from him.”

Lip gave a stiff nod and pulled out a pack of cigarettes from his pocket. He looked over his shoulder and back as his family, the mere mention of Ian was enough to make Debbie’s eyes water, so Lip stepped out the front door. He placed a cigarette in his mouth and lit it while Mandy began to speak.

“What the fuck is going on?” Mandy demanded. “Ian hasn’t been at school and he’s not answering my texts. He’s been a fuckin’ ball of energy lately, like he’s on drugs or something.”

“He’s not on drugs, Mandy.” Lip exhaled, and then offered the cigarette to Mandy.

“Then what the fuck is up with him, huh? The fuck is happening, Lip?” Mandy questioned, snatching up the cigarette and taking a long drag, her voice edging towards desperate.

Maybe it was the desperation the seeped into her voice or maybe it was how worried she looked, but Lip felt bad for her. He knew that Ian and Mandy were best friends and Mandy was even pretending to date Ian to help him avoid bullies and keep creepy dudes away from her, so he figured she must have some sort of right to know.

“Ian couldn’t get out of bed until a few days ago and he’s walking a fine line between staying up at the McMansion and going to the psyche ward right now. He’s bipolar.” Lip explained, his voice as dead as he felt.

Mandy’s face fell and she let out a small gasp. Lip took an instinctual step forward, but Mandy was shaking and she looked like she was going to be sick. Mandy knew what bipolar was, because believe it or not she did pay attention in health class, and she had heard Ian talk about Monica’s battle with the disease. The idea of Ian, her sweet, funny best friend Ian, cursed with the illness made her stomach protest harder than it ever had before.

“No, there has to be a mistake.” She denied, shaking her head adamantly.  “Ian can’t be bipolar, he can’t be! I mean, it’s Ian for fuck’s sake.”

Lip bit the inside of cheek, but a watery chuckle escaped him. He had felt the same way when he heard. Ian was too good for this shit, Ian wasn’t supposed to be saddled with some disease like this. Ian had a dream, he had goals and he had the potential to reach them, even if he didn’t like Ian’s dream. Ian deserved a chance but he couldn’t even enlist in the military with a mental illness like bipolar, much less become an officer.

“I wish it was a mistake, Mandy, but it’s not. It’s life fucking Ian over.” Lip said bitterly, taking a drag from his cigarette.

“This is so fucked.” Mandy whispered, tears building up in her blue eyes. “Ian doesn’t deserve this bullshit.”

“You’re right, he doesn’t.” Lip agreed.

Mandy rubbed the tears out of her eyes and took a deep breath, taking in her surroundings. She was outside the Gallagher house in the South Side while her best friend sat in the North Side, wrestling inner demons that they had once made fun of like assholes. She was no good to him here, she needed to get to the North Side; she needed to get to Ian.

“Um, thanks for the information.” She said awkwardly, giving Lip a stiff nod.

“No problem.” Lip replied lazily, his eyes glued to the ground as she walked away silently.

Mandy found herself walking home, becoming angrier the closer she got home. She wasn’t even really sure what she was angry at. Maybe she was angry at Ian for not telling her something was wrong, maybe she was mad at Ian for getting ill in the first place, maybe she was mad at the Gallaghers for no keeping her informed or maybe she was just mad at the world for fucking everyone she cared about over.

Mickey was eating pizza bagels when the front door swung open to show Mandy. Normally he would just look up because of the noise and then return to his pizza bagels, but she was crying and her jaw was clenched tight in anger.

“Who I gotta kill?” Mickey demanded, not peeling his eyes off his sister.

“You don’t have to kill anyone.” Mandy scoffed, slamming the door shut with enough force to shake the wall.

“Bullshit. Something’s up, now fuckin’ spill.” He commanded, pointing his pizza bagel at her.

She rolled her teary eyes and snagged one of his pizza bagels before flopping down next to him on the old, worn out couch.

“Ian has bipolar disorder.” She confessed, her voice breaking and tears welling up again.

“Bi-what now?” Mickey demanded, scrunching up his nose in confusion.

“It’s a disease, Mick. It’s high-highs followed by low-lows, over and over and over again.” Mandy explained. “Remember Monica Gallagher? She had it and she passed it on to Ian.”

Mickey did remember Monica Gallagher, more specifically; he remembered her standing on her roof, thinking she could fly and the fire department having to get her down. When word got out that she was sober when it happened, everyone had snickered about crazy Monica Gallagher. He remembered wondering what would happen if Monica really did jump off the roof, how would the firemen save her? But he never found out, because they got up there in time and dragged her down, kicking and screaming. He tried to picture it as Ian instead of Monica and a wave of nauseous hit him.

“Jesus Christ.” Mickey whispered, mostly to himself.

“I know.” Mandy agreed, remembering the incident well. “Look, I need a ride to North Side to see Ian. Can you jack a car and give me a ride?”

Normally, Mickey would scoff loudly and say no, tell Mandy to find another fucking way to the North Side; but this wasn’t about Mandy, this was about Ian. And maybe, just maybe, that’s what made it so much more scary.

“Fine, but I want a snickers bar.” Mickey grumbled.

“Done.” Mandy quickly agreed to her brother’s terms.

Mickey pushed himself off the couch and walked out of the house in search of a car to jack. His brain was throbbing, like it couldn’t or wouldn’t shut the fuck up. His brain irritatingly brought up memories of the first time they fucked, then when Mickey showed up at the Kash and Grab just to fuck with Ian and then that time that Ian blew him in his bed room with Mandy just right outside making pizza bagels for them. He could almost feel Ian’s warm hands on his hips, holding him as he pounded into Mickey’s ass. The memories continue to flow in, until he hit the memory of the day he was shot.

When Ian had showed up on his door step, crying and looking like a little bitch, saying he needed to see Mickey and he didn’t know where else to go. His heart had tugged strangely and he was feeling it again as he remembered the desperate look on Gallagher’s freckled face. He remembered the aftermath of that visit the most though. He remembered running away when Kash caught them and then returning to threaten the pussy of a store owner and getting shot. The pain had been like nothing he had ever felt before and there was Ian, trying to cup his face and ordering Mickey to look at him, trying to convince the thug that everything would be okay.

When Ian visited Mickey in jail for the first time, he had been so nervous that he thought he was going to vomit. His mind had raced with what ifs. What if someone figured it out, what if Gallagher said something sappy or stupid, what if Gallagher was here to tell him that their little arrangement was over?  But that’s not what Ian came to say, he came to talk to Mickey because there was shit going on and he missed him. Ian came to Mickey because Mickey was, in some way, the person Ian wanted to turn to when shit got bad. Ian even came with Mandy to pick Mickey up from juvie, not because he wanted to be a good fake boyfriend to Mandy, not because he wanted to be nice, but because he wanted to see Mickey. Mickey wasn’t a fan of lying to himself, he knew Gallagher could do better, but Gallagher chose him anyways.

As he drove Mandy up to North Side in the stolen car, all he could think about was how Ian Gallagher gave a fuck about him and in return he treated he kid like shit. He treated him like just another warm mouth, but when it was just him and his thoughts, Mickey could admit that Ian wasn’t just a warm mouth; he was so much more. Mandy gave him directions and told him how to get to the fancy home Ian had been placed in. As he pulled up to the driveway, he was desperate for some sort of course of action, but Mandy took control first.

She flung herself out of the car and jogged to the front door, banging on it like the world depended on it. He followed her, watching over her shoulder as woman that looked like a suburban house mom opened the door.

“Mandy, we didn’t know you were coming.” She greeted with a small smile. “Who’s your friend?”

“My brother, Mickey. We’re here to see Ian, I just heard from Lip about the diagnosis.” Mandy explained, dipping her head into the home, eyes searching for her best friend.

The woman nodded understandingly and took a step back, waving them into her house. Never in Mickey’s life, had another person waved him into their home. Mandy swaggered into the house like she owned the placed, and Mickey forced himself to follow his sister’s lead.

“He’s in his room. He’s very numb from the medications right now and we want the door open, so he doesn’t do something he, or we, will regret later on.” The woman told them.

Mandy gave a stiff nod and hustled up the stairs and to Ian’s room. Mickey’s heart burned at the sight waiting for him in the room.

There sat Ian, looking broken and numb. He was curled up on his bed, books with pages torn out were sprawled across the floor and his knuckles were bandaged.

“Jesus Ian, what the fuck happened?” Mandy demanded, taking the words right out of Mickey’s mouth.

“I wanted to feel something.” Was the only explanation Ian offered.

“So you tried to make yourself feel something by destroying your favorite book? By hurting yourself from what, hitting a wall or some shit?” Mickey snapped, shocking Mandy.

Ian gave a half-assed shrug but it wasn’t enough for Mickey this time. He took a menacing step forward.

“Fuck no, that’s not enough Gallagher! You tried hurting yourself instead of doin’ good shit that made you happy or whatever!” Mickey said accusingly and Ian nodded.

“Not like it matters, I couldn’t feel the good stuff anyway.” Ian muttered.

Mickey sucked in half his lip and moved his eyes to the floor. Ian was the happiest person Mickey knew, and now he was lying in bed, claiming to feel nothing and hurting himself just for the hell of it. Something had to be done.


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mickey's making changes and Mandy's figuring it out

When Mickey had given a shit about Ian, Mandy had been surprised. She knew they worked together, but she didn’t know Mickey gave half a shit about Ian Gallagher or any other Gallagher for that matter. It had been confusing and surprising, but she didn’t say anything as Mickey chewed Ian out for hurting himself instead of trying to help himself and when Lucy gave Mickey a big grin and a hug when they were leaving, she didn’t say anything either. It wasn’t until they were on the highway that Mandy asked.

“The fuck was that about?” She asked.

“I work with him, if he isn’t up to working, there’s more shit I got to do.” Mickey lied.

And Mandy knew it was a lie, but she accepted his lie. She figured she would return to this issue if it came back up, but she speculated that it wouldn’t. Mickey didn’t care for people much and he usually didn’t care for them long. She theorized it wouldn’t be long until Mickey didn’t give a fuck about her best friend again.

However, unknown to Mandy, Mickey found himself anxious the next day as he thought about Ian, lying in that bed with those wrapped up knuckles and destroyed books. After hours of his brain torturing him, Mickey found himself taking the El up to the North Side and landed at the North Side Gallagher’s door. A red-headed man who looked much like Ian was the one to open the door.

“Can I help you?” The man asked, standing up straighter when he saw the teenage thug.

“Uh yeah, I’m lookin’ for Ian Gallagher.” Mickey said awkwardly. “I’m Mickey Milkovich, we, uh, we work together.”

Clarity washed over Clayton as he remembered Ian talking about a boy he worked with, Mickey, and remembered Mandy talking briefly about an older brother of the same name. From the way Ian had fawned over the boy at the dinner table, Clayton had begun to speculate that Ian had feelings for Mickey, and because Mickey didn’t look like he was looking for a fight, Clayton gave a small smile and assumed that things were good between the two teens.

“Yeah, Ian’s here. I’m Clayton, his father.” The older man introduced, opening the door further so Mickey could come in.

The house looked no different than it did the day before. The house was cleaner than any place Mickey had ever been before. He felt horribly out of place and it made him want to bolt, but then he saw Ian. Ian was sitting at the island in the kitchen, staring at a bottle of pills and Mickey’s brain shut off and his body took over. Mickey took long strides over to Ian and got the red-headed boy’s attention instantly.

“What’ch ya doing?” Mickey asked, nodding towards the pills.

“I don’t wanna take ‘em.” Ian said simply.

Mickey’s eyebrows shot up to “are you fucking kidding me” and crossed his arms over his chest.

“Yeah and why the fuck not?” Mickey demanded.

“They make me feel numb. I can’t feel anything when I’m on them.” Ian told Mickey, his eyes darting around before quietly adding. “Can’t even pitch a tent on this shit.”

Mickey’s eyebrows fell and his brain turned back on. Gallagher couldn’t even fuck him while on this shit. Did Mickey really wanna be around him when the guy couldn’t even fuck him? But his body answered the question for him, yes, he does.

“Well, if your fancy shmancy doctors say to take it, fuckin’ take it and tell ‘em this shit.” Mickey instructed.

“I don’t want to.” Ian whined.

Mickey realized that this just simply wasn’t gonna work unless he put back on his mask and slipped back into being the well-known man around South Side, be slipped back into the façade of Mickey Milkovich.

“Gallagher, take your fuckin’ pills or I’ll shove ‘em down your motherfucking throat. I aint workin’ extra because your bitch ass doesn’t like the side effects. You’re gonna take this shit and show up for work on fucking time so I don’t gotta listen to Linda fucking bitch about you being late. We clear?” Mickey demanded.

And just like that, a chuckle and a soft smile broke out of Ian. Even sedated Mickey managed to get through to Ian. With a chuckle, Ian nodded.

“Okay, I’ll be there.” Ian said.

“I’m not goin’ anywhere until you take your fucking pills.” Mickey told his fuck buddy.

“You really don’t have to do that.” Ian scoffed.

“Guess I’m just a nice guy.” Mickey shrugged, a sarcastic smile taking over his face.

With an exasperated sigh, Ian took his pill and turned to Mickey with an expression that read “this is stupid”.

“You gonna ask to look under my tongue?” Ian snarked.

“Don’t give me ideas, Gallagher. I just might.” Mickey deadpanned.

Ian snorted a laugh and rolled his eyes, finally realizing that Clayton, Jacob and Lucy were all watching the scene unfold in front of them.

“Uh, don’t you have to go?” Ian asked.

Mickey raised his brows in confusion and cocked his head to the side, like a puppy. “The fuck are you talking about Gallagher?”

“Don’t you have to go? Like to work?” Ian pressed.

“Yep.” Mickey said, popping the ‘p’. “But I’m not leaving without your ass. Don’t wanna be stuck doin’ any more fuckin’ work than I gotta.”

Shock was displayed freely across Ian’s face, but the expression was muted compared to what Mickey had seen in the past. A squawk of surprise was heard from behind Ian, causing the redhead to turn and see his younger brother.

“Who’s that?” Mickey asked casually nodding at Jacob.

“My little brother, Jacob.” Ian said with a shrug.

“He looks like you.” Mickey said, offering a forced, small smile to the kid.

“Ian, you barley let Mom drive you to work. You’re going to work with him?” Jacob asked.

Jacob honestly didn’t mean for his words to come out so hard and his tone so, well, judgmental and harsh, but they did. Ian shrugged, his eyes still on Mickey as his brain reviewed that Mickey was standing in his kitchen, making sure he was going to work. Mickey could say he was there just to make sure he didn’t get more work, but Ian didn’t buy it.

“Mickey works with me. It’s okay if he takes me.” Ian said to his brother.

Jacob looked to his parents, not sure if they were supposed to trust this new guy or not. He heard stories about the South Side, about dangerous people and things happening there, and from eavesdropping on Mandy and Ian, some of that had been confirmed to the younger ginger.  Lucy watched the boys interact silently, taking into account how Mickey actively cared about Ian and his health, whether the smaller man would admit that or not was another story though. To Lucy, she could see clear through Mickey’s lies and Clayton could too.

“Okay, drive safe.” Lucy said with a smile.

Mickey’s eyebrows drew up in surprise at how easy it was to get these North Siders to trust him with Ian and led the younger boy out to the stolen car he had parked in the drive way. Ian followed Mickey down to the train station, taking the El back to the South Side, basking in the comfortable silence. Mickey had nothing to say, as his brain was still screaming at him for being so careless. What if someone had seen him go up to the North Side and then reappear with Ian? What if someone had followed him? What if he showed himself too much? What if **he** got hurt? Mickey’s brain was chiding him, telling him he let his heart go too far with affection, and this was stressful, if Ian couldn’t even pitch a tent then Ian couldn’t fuck the stress outta Mickey. If Ian couldn’t fuck the stress out of Ian, how was he supposed to handle this shit?

Everything suddenly felt too dangerous and Mickey’s heart was pounding against his rib cage, but by the time he got them to The Kash and Grab his heart calmed down and he forced himself to believe that no one had followed him; that they were still fucking safe. Ian remained unaware of the internal battle Mickey was facing, letting his mind rest, and taking advantage of the overwhelming numbness he felt. If Linda was surprised to see them coming into work together she didn’t show it, her face expressionless as it often was.

“Good, you’re here on time, Ian.” She said, looking him over. “What the hell happened to you?”

“They say I’m bipolar.” Was all Ian offered.

Linda’s eyebrows shot up and Mickey stepped up to finish explaining. “My sister said he had a depressive episode, couldn’t get out of bed. He’s on medication and shit now, supposed to stop him from getting like that and bein’ the fucking energizer bunny like he was before.”

Linda seemed to take the information pretty well, nodding softly while biting her lip.

“If you have one of these episodes again, I expect somebody to give me a call, so tell your guardian.” Linda instructed. “Now get the fuck to work.”

Mickey snorted a laugh and followed his boss’ instructions while Ian sluggishly got to work. Ian was slow all day, seeming to need help, but something inside Mickey told him that help would be way too much, so he didn’t offer any help to the other boy. To Ian, it was surprisingly a breather, not to have someone breathing down his back, even if Mickey was watching. Mickey didn’t offer help with every little thing, something Ian’s North Side and South Side family was too quick to offer, especially about simple things.

During lunch time Mandy swaggered into the store with a bagged lunch for both her brother and fake boyfriend. Mickey made a half-assed comment that Mandy knew was his way of showing affection. Ian grunted and gave a small smile to Mandy as she handed him his lunch. It took him a bit to get the damn bag open and Mandy stepped forward.

“Let me help.” She offered.

“No, I got it.” Ian grunted back, refusing her help.

“No, seriously, it’s no big deal.” Mandy said, reaching for the bag.

“Jesus Christ, Mandy let him fuckin’ do it!” Mickey snapped, seeing the agitation clear on Ian’s face.

At Mickey’s words, Ian’s face soften and a smile tugged at his lips, forcing another smile out of Mickey and Mandy caught it. That’s when it finally clicked for Mandy, something was going on between them, and it wasn’t platonic.


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mandy confronts Mickey about his sexuality and his relationship with Ian while Lip finds himself jealous of Ian's new family.

When Mickey returned home, he was surprised to see Mandy sitting on the porch. She looked troubled, worry hanging heavy in her features. She sprung to her feet once she noticed Mickey and her features seemed to harden.

“You okay, Mandy?” Mickey asked, looking her over, checking for clues that could cue him in on whatever the fuck was happening.

“Yeah, I just need to talk to you.” Mandy said stiffly.

Mickey raised his eyebrows. “Alright, you need to tell me what the fuck is going on, right now.”

“Listen shithead!” She hissed. “It’s private and personal, so take me somewhere we can talk, private and safe.”

Mickey’s brows furrowed and he sucked in half of his lip while giving his sister a tight nod. Whatever Mandy needed to talk about, it had to be serious if she didn’t feel safe about it talkin’ at home. So Mickey led Mandy to an abandon building that he had made his own little chunk of the world. He brought targets, old couches, moth bitten blankets and magazines here; it smelled like stale pot, but it was Mickey’s safe place. Mandy took in her surroundings and understood how her brother could feel safe here, and despite herself, it made her smile.

“So what’s got you bustin’ my balls about?” Mickey asked, lighting up a cigarette.

“Mick, I know you’re lying.” She said.

“Bout what exactly?” Mickey demanded, raising his eyebrows threateningly.

If he was lying to Mandy, it was always for her protection or her own good; so her confronting him about it wasn’t a good thing.

“About being straight.” Mandy clicked her tongue.

Mickey sat up straight, feeling as if he’d been hit in the gut and someone had dumped a bucket of cold water on him all at once. Mickey could barely admit it to himself, let alone someone else, and if Mandy knew, there was no telling who else knew. Being gay in the South Side may as well be a death sentence, and living with a homophobe like Terry Milkovich only made the situation even more dangerous.

“Fuck you, you don’t know what you’re talking about!” Mickey spat, his tone venomous and his eyes hard.

Mandy’s face dropped, no longer serious but hurt. Seeing the hurt on his sister’s face felt like a punch in the gut, but Mickey didn’t apologize. He couldn’t apologize, this was serious and dangerous. He couldn’t risk his own safety on an apology.

“Mickey, I saw the way you looked at Ian. I’m not… I’m not going to tell anyone, Mick, you should know by now that that’s not who I am.” Mandy said softly.

And with his sister’s words, his façade crumpled to the ground and he looked into her eyes and with a broken whisper said “please, you can’t tell anyone.”

She flung herself at her brother, wrapping him in a hug as tears forced their way past the barriers in his eyes. She held him tight, quietly promising that she wouldn’t tell anyone. Mickey had never felt so weak, so vulnerable and he wasn’t sure he was okay with it.

“I love you Mickey.” Mandy whispered, knowing too well that hearing ‘I love you’ was something Milkovichs weren’t used to.

These words only made Mickey cry harder as his little sister held him in her arms. Mickey always had to be so strong, so tough, but now he was crying freely as Mandy let him know that he was loved.

“I love you too, Mands.” He croaked, pulling back from the hug and rubbing his eyes.

Mandy stayed silent while Mickey calmed himself down. She looked away, not wanting to see how broken her big brother looked. The idea of seeing Mickey, her brother that was always the first to jump to her defense and rescue, looking so broken made Mandy’s stomach churn. Mickey was the type of good that rich people turned their noses up at but people in the ghetto would take advantage of, but he was the best of the Milkovich brothers in Mandy’s opinion.

“Um, thanks for that.” Mickey said awkwardly.

“How does it feel, y’know, knowing that I know?” Mandy asked softly.

“Strange, mostly terrifying, a tiny bit relieving.” Mickey admitted gruffly. “But don’t think this means I’m gonna let you paint my nails and talk about boys, bitch.”

Mandy let out a belly laugh and elbowed Mickey in the ribs, Mickey almost managing to dodge the blow.

“Fuck you too, dickwad.” Mandy laughed. “No more stealing my boyfriends, assface.”

“Oh come on, we both knew Firecrotch wasn’t really your boyfriend.” Mickey snorted.

“Fuck off, he could have been!” Mandy shot.

“But he wasn’t.” Mickey shrugged.

Mandy rolled her eyes, a smile playing on her lips. Mickey was her favorite brother and it was important to her that he know she loved him, even if he was gay.

“Whatever bitch, let’s go home.” Mandy said, and together they made their way home.

It was a Saturday, so once Ian finished up work, he walked back to the house he grew up in. The Gallaghers had just moved back in after their short stay in the North Side to help look after Ian, but they were glad to have Ian home with them again, even if it was just for the weekend.

“Hey Sweetface, how was work?” Fiona asked when Ian walked in.

“Fine.” Ian answered in a monotone voice.

Lucy had spent an ungodly amount of time reassuring Fiona that the doctors said it was normal for the medications to make Ian feel numb before he got used to them, so Fiona didn’t question her brother. She assumed the fact that he didn’t just grunt in response was a sign of a good day. So, instead of interrogating Ian, she focused on feeding Liam, who had decided to be difficult about eating today. Carl was out back in the van and Debbie was at Kev and V’s, helping V with cleaning, so Ian made his way to the boys’ room.

Lip was sitting on his bed, staring at his phone with a frown etched onto his features. Karen wasn’t answering his texts, claiming she had a new boyfriend and was on a date with him. So, when the door opened to show Ian, Lip’s whole face lit up like a Christmas tree; finally somebody would want his company.

“Hey dude, it’s good to see you.” Lip greeted his brother.

“Hey, you too.” Ian replied, kicking off his shoes and climbing into his own bed.

“You wanna do something today?” Lip asked. “We could go bowling, Fiona blew the manager a while back and he lets us in for free in hopes of getting more.”

Ian gave a noncommittal shrug. “I don’t really feel like doing anything, to be honest.”

“Well than maybe this will be good for you.” Lip proposed, pushing himself off the bed. “C’mon, let’s go before Carl decides to tag along.”

Lip had to help Ian out of bed, but he did manage to get his brother down to the bowling alley. It wasn’t until they were putting on their bowling shoes that Lip realized Ian was wearing new shoes, expensive ones too.

“Where’d you get those?” Lip asked, squinting down at Ian’s shoes.

“Clayton bought them for me, my old shoes were falling apart.” Ian replied emotionlessly.

“He dropped a couple hundred dollars on a fucking pair of shoes?” Lip scoffed.

“Yeah, I think he thinks buying me nice stuff that I like will make happy and normal again.” Ian mused.

Lip felt his stomach clench and he grit his teeth, forcing himself not to make a snide remark about money and bipolar disorder not mixing well. Ian didn’t notice Lip’s agitation and picked out a bowling ball before setting up the game for them.

“So, uh anyway, tell me about Jacob.” Lip said, a short cough at the beginning to get Ian’s attention.

If there was one thing Lip knew for sure, it was that Ian was a good brother and he suspected bringing up Ian’s new brother might be a good way to distract himself for his distaste for Clayton buying Ian new expensive things.

“He’s okay I guess; he worries about me. He did some research on bipolar disorder to try understand it, I think it made him feel more close to me or something.” Ian said. “He wants me to help him with his English homework when I get home tomorrow.”

Lip’s hackles rose and he raised his eyebrows. “Help with his homework? I’ve never even seen you help Carl with his homework.”

“Carl’s never asked for or needed my help for homework, Lip.” Ian pointed out. “He always goes to you.”

“And what, Jacob can’t go to Clayton or Lucy?” Lip demanded, his face scrunching up as he scoffed.

“No, he just decided to come to me because I’m his brother.” Ian replied, his tone now defensive.

“So is Carl! Hell, you’ve known Carl’s your brother longer than you’ve known Jacob! So why are you helping him and not Carl?” Lip questioned, hostility clear as day.

“Because Carl never needed me! He never needed my help!” Ian reminded his brother.

“Oh, so now you think we don’t need you?” Lip sneered.

“Lip, I have no idea what crawled up your ass and died, but I’m out!” Ian huffed, taking off his bowling shoes and storming out.

Lip wasn’t even sure how he had escalated like that and that quickly, but he wasn’t sure he wanted to know. When Lip returned home, Fiona was waiting for him and he knew right away that this wasn’t good; Fiona had her arms crossed over her chest and her lips were pursed.

“What’s up, Fi?” Lip asked innocently.

“Oh nothing, Lip, what about you? You feel like sharing why Ian got his stuff and had Lucy pick him up?” Fiona deadpanned, causing Lip to flinch.

“We kinda, uh, had an argument at the bowling alley.” Lip said awkwardly.

“What kind of argument?” Fiona demanded.

“Um, the kind where I sound like a jealous dick…?” It sounded more like a question than a statement.

Fiona let out an exasperated sigh. “Damn it Lip. You were the one who kept pushing Ian to accept  his new family and now you’re jealous!”

“Because I didn’t think I’d be bitter. I didn’t think about how Clayton could buy Ian thousand dollar shoes that we’d never be able buy him. That he’d have life experiences like helping a sibling at homework for the first time because they don’t have any other siblings” Lip huffed angrily. “I didn’t think about any of that, and I certainly didn’t think he’d develop bipolar disorder and need Clayton to pay for pills that would leave us bankrupt!”

“Oh Lip, none of us saw his bipolar coming.” Fiona said in a consoling voice, reaching out to wrap an arm around him.

“You know, this whole situation could have fucking triggered it.” Lip scoffed.

“What?” Fiona asked, furrowing her brows.

“Stressful situations can sometimes trigger shit like this. Him being moved, forced to live with Clayton, could have triggered it.”

“Lip…” Fiona sighed, but Lip kept going.

“If fucking Monica hadn’t come back and tried to take Liam, maybe her bad genetics would have never come out to play. This is all her fucking fault.” Lip said.

“Lip, do you even hear yourself? Moving to the North Side didn’t cause Ian to be bipolar! You’re starting to sound fuckin’ crazy.” Fiona said firmly. “Think about what you’re saying.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just want to be clear that a stressful situation cannot cause a mental illness, but can trigger an episode if someone already has one.


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ian's tired of everyone watching him and desperate to prove he's still the same person he was before, while Carl proves he's more than his sociopathic tendencies.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, some people think Carl is a little OOC, but I'm basing Carl's softer side after the scene before he leaves for cancer camp where he lets Ian kiss his forehead and tells Fiona he loves her.

The next time Mickey saw Ian, his mind couldn’t help but flash back to late that night with Mandy. She had entered his room long after their father had passed out and their brothers had either fallen asleep or left to their lovers’ home. Mandy crept into his bed the way she did after their father would enter her room during a bender, and he would be worried if he didn’t know for a fact that Terry had been too fucked up to get into her room. Lazily Mandy snuggled up to her brother’s side and looked up to Mickey’s face, her head nestled on his chest.

“Be careful, Mick. I don’t want you to get hurt, and right now he’s not doing good.” Mandy whispered.

“I can take care of myself.” Mickey snorted, brushing off his sister’s concerns.

“Mick, I’m serious. I don’t want to lose my best friend, because I’ll take your side, I always will. Always.” Mandy breathed, her voice breaking at the end, her fingers twisting into his shirt.

Mickey had understood what she was trying to say. If the truth ever got out Mandy would take his side, no matter what the other side was, she’d take his side and protect him. Mickey didn’t say anything back, just wrapped an arm around Mandy’s shoulder and let his sister fall asleep in his embrace.

Ian didn’t look as bad as he had before, but he was still clearly in need of some help. Mickey sucked in half of his lower lip, watching the red-head work as he manned the door. Ian’s eyes didn’t have the life they once held, and Mickey waned to ask how Ian was doing, but couldn’t seem to find the words. He felt like a pussy, watching Gallagher but not knowing what to say. Ian noticed Mickey watching him and felt himself bristle, yet another person was watching him like he was about to fucking break. Once the store was deserted, Ian turned to Mickey with a deep frown.

“Stop fucking staring at me.” Ian hissed, causing Mickey to blink in shock.

“Fuck you Gallagher, I’ll stare if I fuckin’ wanna.” Mickey huffed back, puffing out his chest.

“No, fuck you Mickey! You think I don’t notice everyone staring at me like I’m about to break? Like I’m broken? I’m not broken! I’m the same damn person I’ve always been! Nothing has changed, asshole, so quit staring!” Ian snarled.

“Oh cut the shit, tough guy.” Mickey scoffed, dismissing Ian’s aggressive stance. “I don’t think you’re gonna fuckin’ break, I’ve been trying to think of what to say but I can’t think of jack-shit.”

Ian was taken back by Mickey’s honesty. He knew that was why Mickey could get so quiet when it was just them sometimes, but Mickey didn’t talk to him much when others were around. Shamefully, Ian ducked his head down and fiddled with his fingers.

“Um, you wanted to talk when people were in the store?” Ian asked, only looking up for a second before turning his gaze back to the floor.

“Yeah, I guess.” Mickey answered with a shrug.

“Why?” Ian found himself asking.

Mickey, who had also been staring at the floor, looked up and Ian met his gaze. Mickey licked his lips self cautiously.

“Mandy knows.” Mickey blurted out.

Ian’s eyes went comically wide and if he had been a cartoon his eyes would have fallen out of their sockets. He felt his palms begin to sweat and he felt nauseous. Was Mickey about to end this, all this? The fucking, the talking, the casual touches, the friendship that was blossoming?

“Quit shitting your pants, Gallagher. This fucking changes nothing.” Mickey said with a small chuckle.

“Oh. How…how are you handling it?” Ian said, sounding more like his old self than the numb, sedated Ian he’s been lately.

“I don’t know. It’s fucking weird, having somebody know.” Mickey confessed, biting his lip.

Ian nodded, remembering how strange it was when Lip first found out about him being gay. It had been terrifying, he thought he hid it so well, and then Lip was throwing it in his face. He thought he was going to be sick, and then Lip had pulled the bull shit with Karen Jackson, insisting if Ian just tried being with a girl he might like it. Ian hoped things were better with Mandy and Mickey then it had been with him and Lip, but he didn’t dare ask.

“So, Gallagher, if you’re so insistent that you’re still the same, what do you say you and me pay a little visit to the back room?” Mickey asked suggestively.

“Mickey, I would really like to but I can’t…” Ian trailed off, gesturing to his junk.

“Doesn’t mean you can’t help me out.” Mickey said, waggling his eyebrows.

Ian felt the corners of his lips tug upwards and he nodded. Mickey flipped the sign and locked the door, following Ian into the freezer with a smirk playing on his lips. Maybe giving a blow job in the freezer of his place of employment wasn’t classy, but it was the closest to normal Ian’s been treated since his diagnosis.

While Ian was seeking normal, his family was trying to make things as easy as possible for Ian and provide as much support as they could. Fiona and Lip were talking to Clayton and Lucy about medication and therapy, demanding to be kept in the loop about Ian’s treatments, while Jacob, Debbie and Carl have been trying to cheer Ian up. Fiona had considered herself lucky so far that neither Carl nor Debbie had said much about Ian’s illness, but all that good luck came to an end at dinner. Carl stared at his dinner blankly as his siblings jabbered happily around him. It had been a Monday, so Ian wasn’t at the Gallagher house, but that’s where Carl’s mind was. He’d been trying very hard to make sense of everything, but he just couldn’t seem too.

“Why did Ian get sick?” Carl asked, his words cutting through the air like a knife.

Everyone in the room went tense and Lip met Fiona’s eyes. Hesitantly, Fiona forced her body to relax and she gave Carl a condescending smile.

“Well, Carl, we don’t really know.” Fiona said sweetly.

“Is it our fault? Is it our fault that Ian’s sick?” Carl questioned, taking the air right out of Lip’s lungs.

Fiona sputtered, racking her brain for what to say, and surprisingly it was Steve who stepped up to the plate.

“No, Buddy, it’s not our fault that Ian got sick. Ian got sick because Monica passed down her sickness to Ian.” Steve explained that best he could.

“Then how come none of the rest of us are sick?” Carl demanded.

“Well, sometimes sicknesses like Ian and Monica’s doesn’t go to all the kids, but sometimes the sickness doesn’t hit people until they’re older.” Steve answered truthfully.

“So we might get sick too?” Debbie asked, scrunching up her nose.

“Yeah, maybe, we don’t know yet.” Steve shrugged.

“Steve!” Fiona reprimanded, turning to him with a glare.

She wanted to throttle him! These kids didn’t need to hear that, they didn’t need the idea of them inheriting the disease too! She expected the kids to start freaking out, but they didn’t. Debbie nodded understandingly and Carl fired off another question.

“How do we help him?” Carl demanded, catching Fiona by surprise.

“Huh?” She gaped.

“How do we help Ian? How do we help him get better?” Carl asked.

Fiona licked her lips and took Carl’s hand, giving it a gentle squeeze. “Carl, honey, there really isn’t anything we can do to help Ian. His illness won’t go away, he can manage it and find ways to live with it, but it’s never going away.”

Carl’s lower lip began to wobble and he gave the table a hard kick, pushing himself away from the table and ripping his hand out of Fiona’s. He stormed up the stairs and ran to the boys’ room, flinging himself onto his bed. Maybe he was being dramatic, but Carl had never felt so sad and hurt for someone else before. He’s seen how miserable his mom got from the sickness, and hearing that Ian, his big brother that always protected him, looked out for him, made him laugh and let him know he was loved, was going to have to deal with it for the rest of his life. Just the thought of Ian being so miserable made Carl’s stomach churn.

Fiona got up and jogged up the stairs, following after Carl with a soft sigh. She paused only at the door when she heard a sniffle, so she rapt on the door to let her presence be known before entering the room.

“Hey Carl.” She said softly.

“Go away.” He croaked with another sniffle, rubbing his eyes.

“No can do, buddy. I need to make sure you’re alright.” Fiona said, creeping towards him.

“Alright? How can I be alright?” Carl spat, his head snapping in her direction, his wet eyes holding anger and frustration. “How can I be alright when Ian’s sick and there’s nothing I can do to help?”

Fiona’s face softened and she sat down next to him, rubbing his back and pulling him closet to her. With a small sigh, Carl relaxed into her touch and melted into her side.

“I get it, Monkey, I really do. It sucks and Ian deserves so much better than all of this.” Fiona told her brother. “We all want to do something, something to make it better, but the only thing we can do, is let Ian know we love him and care about him. We have to suck it up and deal with how unfair it all is for Ian, because he needs us right now. Okay? Do you think you can do that?”

Carl nodded his head slowly. “Yeah, I can do that for Ian.”


	21. Chapter 21

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A closer look into Ian's treatment and the South Side Gallaghers hear about Ian's mysterious "boyfriend".

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll be the first to admit that I may be romanticizing Ian's illness a little bit and I have no personal experience with bi-polar disorder. If this offends you I apologize. However, I did base his doctor's appointments off my own.

Ian was as stiff as board as he sat in his psychiatrist’s office. Admittedly, the last thing Ian wanted to do was talk about the medicine and the side effects they caused, but he had to if he wanted to stop dealing with not being able to get hard. He and his psychiatrist, Doctor Schwartz, had already dealt with that issue, but now he had to see the doctor on a regular basis to make sure that his medication was continuing to work. No matter how many times Ian saw him, however, Ian just didn’t feel comfortable in the stuffy office.

“I don’t get it, why can’t I just talk about it with Doctor Gollan?” Ian had asked the first time.

Doctor Gollan was his therapist, who Ian saw twice a week, much to his displeasure and discomfort.

“Because, Ian, Doctor Gollan isn’t a psychiatrist, he cannot prescribe you your medicine.” Doctor Schwartz had explained with a bored smile on his face.

Today was his third meeting with the doctor and Ian wasn’t any more comfortable with him now than he was when he first met the man.

“How are you feeling today, Ian?” Doctor Schwartz asked.

“Tired. I feel like there’s a wet blanket over me and cotton in my mouth more than half the time.” Ian said with a tired sigh.

“And the other half?” Doctor Schwartz pushed gently.

“I don’t know, kind of normal I guess.” Ian attempted to explain.

“Can you explain?” The doctor pressed

“When I’m with… my friend, it’s almost like I’m not sick anymore. I think it’s because he’s the only one who treats me like I’m normal, it makes everything melt away.” Ian proclaimed.

“Well, I can tell you that the numbness from the medication will start to ware off soon. It’s very normal with this type of medication for the people taking it to experience numbness. Normally they report it wearing off within a week or so.” Doctor Schwartz reassured his patient.

Ian nodded, taking it all in. He was happy that his numbness would be waring off soon, he hated not feeling anything. Being numb felt almost like drowning, sometimes he gets his head above water just long enough to breathe only for the tide to take over and shove him back underwater again.

“So, we’re not going to make any changes to the medications at this time. I’ll put in an order for a refill of your prescription and I’ll see you again next month, Ian.” Doctor Schwartz said, sticking his hand out to shake.

Ian shook the older man’s hand and walked out of the office. Clayton stood up as Ian walked into the waiting room and went over to the receptionist to pay for the appointment. Ian slumped into a chair, allowing himself to stare off into space while he waited for Clayton to pay for everything. Once Clayton had put his wallet away, the two red-headed Gallaghers walked out of the building together. It had been two weeks since Mickey showed up at the North Side Gallagher’s house and had been dropping by infrequently ever since. To Ian’s surprise, Lucy and Clayton didn’t seem to care that the teenage thug dropped by their house whenever he felt like it, and he was nice to Jacob so the couple were kind to him and safely assumed that he and Ian were close.

Lucy, however, noticed things the boys thought no one noticed. She noticed the brief touches, the way their eyes always wandered to the other. Lucy noticed them and their affection for each other, and after some hinting from Lucy, Clayton picked up on it too. So, the married couple assumed Mickey and Ian were dating, and began to treat Mickey as Ian’s boyfriend. They asked him about his hobbies, his family, they invited him to dinner, they insisted the door stay open when he was in Ian’s room and they welcomed Mickey with open arms.

Now that Ian had been living with Clayton for a while, the two families had figured out a schedule that worked for everyone. On the weekdays Ian lived on the Northside, on the weekends he stayed on the South Side and on Wednesdays they all had dinner together. It ever so happened that today was a Wednesday and Fiona had decided they would eat at the South Side Gallagher residence this week. Because of the timing of Ian’s psychiatrist appointment, they were driving to the residence now, and they would most likely be late.

“How was your day?” Clayton asked casually as he drove.

“Eh, same old, same old.” Ian said with a shrug.

“Did you have a good session?” The older man question.

“Yeah, we’re not changing any meds or whatever, but it was an okay session, I guess.” Ian answered, looking out the window.

Despite living with Clayton and seeing him on a daily basis, Ian still never knew what to say around the older man. It always felt like a job interview, one he was failing, so he leaned towards saying nothing at all than having that feeling; but Clayton never seemed to give up. Clayton was desperate for a better relationship with Ian and while he knew he could never make up for lost time, he hoped that Ian would finally start to trust him, to care about him. But he also understood that Ian had **Frank** as his “father” for fifteen years, and fucking **Frank** was a piece of shit and hurt everyone around him. Clayton understood that trusting him would be hard for Ian and tried his best to be patient, to be a good father.

“What about school? Anything interesting going on there?” Clayton tried.

“Not really. I’m working with Mandy for a history project.” Ian admitted.

“Yeah? What’s it about?” Clayton pushed, grinning to himself as Ian started to explain the presentation he and Mandy were giving on World War 2 propaganda.

Clayton listened to Ian talk about the project and their ideas until they were parked outside Ian’s childhood home. The moment they entered the house, Lucy gave them an exasperated look.

“You two are late.” She chided.

“Sorry honey, we got stuck in traffic.” Clayton told her, walking up to his wife and giving her a kiss.

It was true and Lucy could tell, her husband was a shitty liar after all, but she still rolled her eyes and shoved his shoulder, ordering him to sit down. The South Side Gallaghers silently watched the interaction as it was Ian’s turn now, Lucy holding her arms out for a hug.

“Sorry Lucy.” Ian apologized, giving his step-mother a hug before joining his family at the table.

“How was your appointment, Ian?” Fiona asked as everyone began to eat.

“Fine, didn’t make any changes in the medication this time.” Ian said, repeating what he had said to Clayton in the car.

“That’s good, isn’t it?” Lip questions. “Means they think you’re on the right mix, right?”

“Yeah, I guess.” Ian answered awkwardly, displeased as almost everyone at the table was now looking at him. “The numbness is supposed to go away soon. When I’m not numb anymore he might change his mind, though.”

“Well, sometimes it can take a while to find the right combination of medications that works and the right combination of medication and therapy.” Lucy reminded the table. “So don’t be discouraged if Doctor Schwartz decides to change your medication.”

“Yeah Lucy, I know.” Ian grumbled, rolling his eyes.

Noticing her big brother’s discomfort, Debbie decided to take some of the attention off him.

“What do you do, Uncle Clayton?” Debbie asked, looking up at her uncle with false curious eyes.

Debbie wasn’t really curious as to what Clayton did for a living, but she wouldn’t mind hearing about it if meant Ian relaxing.

“Oh, I’m a literary agent.” Clayton told his niece.

“What’s that?” Carl demanded, scrunching up his nose in confusion.

“I’m the person that helps writers sell their books to publishing companies.” Clayton explained.

“Oh.” Carl hummed.

“Dad’s met all sorts of people because of his job.” Jacob told his cousins. “He goes on trips a lot and works with people in other countries sometimes.”

“Wow, you must miss your family when you’re gone.” Steve commented.

“I do, but Lucy’s there to look after the house and I make sure to always call.” Clayton agreed.

“Do you work, Aunt Lucy?” Lip asked.

“I used to, before I had Jacob. I was a chef, but now I’m a stay at home mom.” Lucy explained.

“Oh god, that’s gotta be tough.” Fiona muttered, grimacing in sympathy.

“It’s not for everyone and there are days I hate it, but for the most part I enjoy it.” Lucy admitted. “I got to be very involved while Jacob was little and I’m a part of the PTA. I don’t have a busy schedule to work parenting around and I get to threaten Ian’s boyfriend whenever he comes over.”

Ian’s head shot up, his eyes wide and mouth slightly hanging open. Everyone on the South Side knew who Mickey Milkovich was, so if Lucy said his name, Ian was royally fucked. Mickey would stop talking to him and probably beat the shit out of him if Lucy said anything.

“I didn’t know Ian had a boyfriend.” Fiona said, pursing her lips and looking to her little brother.

“Opps. I didn’t know you didn’t tell them yet.” Lucy said sheepishly.

“We know Ian’s gay, I just didn’t know he had a boyfriend.” Fiona clarified, while Debbie and Carl grumbled that they didn’t know Ian was gay.

“Who is he?” Lip asked, raising an eyebrow.

“None of your business.” Ian told him, earning a pointed look from Fiona. “And even if it were, he’s not out yet so I can’t tell you.”

Lip rolled his eyes as his younger siblings grumbled. Fiona just stared at Ian, shocked that her younger brother apparently had a secret, mysterious boyfriend that only the North Side Gallaghers knew about. She understood that Ian’s boyfriend wasn’t out, but she couldn’t believe he wouldn’t even tell her. They were family, after all, and it wasn’t like Fiona was going to out them. As she looked at her younger brother, Fiona couldn’t help but try to picture Ian’s secret boyfriend in her mind and wonder, who was this guy?


	22. Chapter 22

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mickey suddenly realizes how attached to Ian he's become and how dangerous it is.

Two weeks after seeing his doctor, the numbness Ian was experiencing started to wear off. At first all his emotions felt overwhelming, but he began to get used to his emotions again and stopped feeling so overwhelmed and controlled by them. He spent a lot of the time he was still overwhelmed with Mickey at the North Side Gallagher residence, because things always felt easier with Mickey when they were hiding away from the world together. Mickey hadn’t even realized how much time they were spending together until one day when he was leaving.

“Oh, you’re leaving?” Lucy asked as she saw Mickey walk down the stairs.

“Yep.” Mickey said, popping the ‘p’.

“Alright. I hope you had a good visit with Ian.” Lucy said, giving him a smile.

“Hold up, Mickey!” Clayton called, jogging out of his office. “I’d like to talk to you real quick.”

Mickey nodded awkwardly and let Clayton catch up to him just in front of the front door. Clayton had on an expression Mickey had never seen before, it was stern and protective; almost like Clayton was trying to be intimidating.

“What’s up?” Mickey demanded, raising an eyebrow with a bored expression.

“Well, Mick, we’re having a family dinner next Wednesday and we’d like you to join us.” Clayton explained.

“Huh?” Mickey asked, totally gob smacked.

“Well, you’re Ian’s boyfriend, so we’d like you to come to our family dinner so we can get to know you better.” Clayton elaborated.  

“Boyfriend? The fuck are you talking about?” Mickey spat. “I’m not a fuckin’ fag!”

Clayton took a step back as Mickey took a menacing step forward. Clayton could see Lucy from behind Mickey’s shoulder, looking shocked. They thought for sure that Ian and Mickey were together, they hadn’t meant to offend anyone but now Mickey was looking very threatening.

“I didn’t mean to offend you, Mickey, it was an honest mistake.” Clayton apologized gently.

“Fuck you!” Mickey snarled, shoving Clayton, causing the older man to stumble backwards. “You ever talk like that to me again and I’ll bash your fucking brains in.”

Mickey stormed out of the house like a bat out of hell. His heart was beating faster than he ever remembered it going before, hammering against his rib cage as he jumped into his stolen vehicle and tore out of the fancy neighborhood. Nausea was threatening to take over as Mickey gasped for breath, anxiety wracking through his body.

Ian’s family thought they were dating. He must have truly fucked up; he must have been spending too much time with Ian. He was blowing his cover and if those North Side snobs could see he was gay, it would only be a matter of time until his dad figured it out unless he got this shit under control. He needed to cut this shit out with Ian, if he kept up with seeing Ian he was going to blow his cover for good.  Once Mickey got back to his house he pocketed a few joints from Iggy’s room and smoked all of them in his room with a bag of cool ranch Doritos.

Mickey went two days without seeing Ian and they were the hardest two days of his life. It was worse than any beating his dad had ever given him and that’s how Mickey knew he was in too deep. He hadn’t realized until then how important he let Ian become, that he had been telling Ian things he had never told anyone before. He had told him about finding his mother’s dead body, about being forced to start dealing when he was only in middle school, about nights that Mandy would sneak into his room crying. He told Ian things he had been scared to ever let anyone hear, and was there for Ian. He gave Ian shit when he complained about taking his meds, but he was there for him and he let Ian vent and he protected the redhead. As Mickey looked back he tried to find when things had gone too far, when the lines had blurred, but he couldn’t seem to find it; like the line had always been crossed.

On the North Side Ian was on edge. Mickey hadn’t shown up for work for two days, or stopped by the house or answered his texts. Ian was beginning to panic, worried that something had happened and Mickey was hurt. He hadn’t heard any of the blow out between Clayton and Mickey, so he was unaware of Mickey’s own dilemma. Every time Ian voiced his concern to Lucy and Clayton, they shot it down.

“I’m sure he’s just busy, Ian.” Clayton would say.

But Ian wasn’t convinced, he was worried for Mickey. His fear was eating at him and when he finally couldn’t take it anymore, he nabbed Clayton’s keys and drove to the South Side. Adrenaline was pumping through Ian’s veins as he tore out of the North Side, a smile working its way onto his face as he laughed nervously. Fuck his so called “family” and their lack of concern, he’d find Mickey and made sure everything was alright. Ian parked Clayton’s Jeep outside Mickey’s house and pounded on the door frantically.

“The fuck do you want?” Mandy huffed as she swung open the door, blinking in surprise when she saw Ian. “Oh hey Ian, what are you doing here?”

“Is Mickey here?” He demanded, looking around her and into the house.

“Yeah, he’s been locked up in his room for like two fucking days now.” Mandy told her best friend, nodding forwards his door.

“Thanks.” Ian said, giving her a quick hug and making his way into Mickey’s room.

“The fuck?!” Mickey demanded as his door flung open, trying to cover his surprise when he saw Ian standing there.

“Jesus Mickey, why haven’t you been answering my texts?” Ian asked, swaggering in with a determined look on his face.

“I’m not your fuckin’ girlfriend, Gallagher. I don’t have to come every time you call.” Mickey huffed.

“I never said that, Mick, but I was fuckin’ worried about you!” Ian exclaimed. “You didn’t show up to work, you didn’t drop by like you normally do and you weren’t answering my texts! I thought something happened to you!”

“Well it didn’t! I’m fuckin’ fine Firecrotch!” Mickey spat, standing up now and puffing out his chest.

“The hell is going on, Mickey?” Ian asked softly, taking a step forward.

“Nothing! I told you, I’m fine.” Mickey lied.

“I don’t believe you.” Ian said firmly. “Mick, please, tell me what’s going on.”

Mickey bit his lip hard as he looked at Ian’s big, vulnerable eyes that were begging him to just open up a bit. Mickey sighed and gave in.

“Daddy Warbucks invited me to your family dinner, Annie. He thinks I’m your boyfriend.” Mickey told him.

“So?” Ian asked, scrunching up his nose in confusion.

“So that means people are figuring it out!” Mickey hissed. “About me being…. Y’know. And…  If my dad figures it out, I’m dead. Not figuratively, literally, he’ll fucking kill me, Ian.”

“Mick…” Ian breathed.

Ian was at a loss for words. Everyone knew that Terry Milkovich was a homophobe; he was the most notorious fag beater in the South Side. But in all the time Ian had been seeing Mickey, he hadn’t thought about how obvious they were being to his family, he hadn’t thought of what would happen to Mickey if word got out to Terry Milkovich that his son was gay.

“Shit Mickey, I hadn’t thought about that.” Ian admitted.

“I-I need to protect myself, Ian.” Mickey whispered, his voice breaking. “I can’t have him find out, I fucking can’t. I don’t wanna die.”

“You’re not gonna die, Mick. Okay, we’ll figure it out, we’ll figure this shit out together. You and me, we’ll figure it out, I’m not gonna let you die.” Ian promised, stepping forward and wrapping his arms around Mickey.

Mickey began crying softly, tears that he’s held back for what felt like years finally flowing freely down his face. Ian held him quietly, only speaking to gently “shush” him and whisper that they were going to figure it out. Mickey held onto Ian tightly as his body shook from the force of his silent sobs, feeling a hundred pounds lighter as he cried openly for the first time in years.

“It’s okay, Mick.” Ian whispered into his hair. “I’ve  got you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was listening to Lorde's cover of "Everbody wants to rule the world" and "Losing Your Memory" by Ryan Star the whole time I was working on this chapter.


	23. Chapter 23

Once Ian realized that Mickey wasn’t safe in the Milkovich home, all he could think about was getting Mickey out of there. He had nightmares, horrible nightmares of Terry killing Mickey all over something he couldn’t help. Clayton and Lucy were starting to worry as Ian was waking up in cold sweats, rummaging for his phone to call Mickey and make sure the other boy was still alive. Mickey was good about the whole thing, understanding that Ian just needed to make sure he was still alive, even if it did mean waking Mickey up. After two weeks of Ian’s night terrors, Clayton got an idea and sat down with Ian to discuss it.

”So Ian, we know that you’ve been having some really bad night mares for the past two weeks and Lucy and I have think we may have figured out a way to fix the problem.” Clayton began.

“Oh yeah, and what’s that?” Ian cut in, raising an eyebrow skeptically.

“We thought maybe Mickey could stay with us for the time being.” Lucy announced. “You said it isn’t safe for him at home and we have so much room here, so we figured he could stay with us until he finds somewhere else to live that’s nice and safe.”

The idea alone made Ian feel twenty pounds lighter. If Mickey was staying with them in the North Side he’d be far away from Terry’s clutches and Ian could spend more time with him. The idea was perfect, it made Ian so happy that he felt like he could kiss Clayton’s cheek for proposing it; he wouldn’t but he felt like he could.

“That’s a great idea!” Ian exclaimed, a smile growing on his face.

“Well, thanks Ian. We just wanted to make sure you were okay with idea before we said anything to Mickey.” Clayton explained with a smile.

“How about I propose the idea to him?” Ian suggested. “He might take it better and be more accepting of it if I’m the one who asks.”

“You’re probably right on that.” Lucy muttered, thinking back to how Mickey had reacted when Clayton had invited him to a family dinner.

But of course, nothing was ever simple with Mickey, and Ian knew that the boy wouldn’t leave his sister alone with Terry and they couldn’t exactly move Mandy in with them too. And by now Ian had figured out who Mandy’s crush was, it was Lip and he knew they were having casual sex, much to Ian’s disgust, so he got an idea.

“Wait, what?” Mandy gaped over the phone.

“Look, I know it sounds crazy, but just hear me out.” Ian pleaded.

“You want Mickey to stay with you and me to stay with your family on the South Side, that sounds more than crazy, Ian.” Mandy told him. “But I will hear you out, so explain.”

“Okay, so Mickey obviously isn’t safe living under the same roof as Terry, and no one in this neighborhood would see Terry and not call the cops, so it would be safe for Mickey here.” Ian began. “But Mickey won’t leave you with Terry, and you’re banging Lip and Fiona really understanding about this type of shit. So explain it Fiona, have her move into Frank’s old room, Lip move into Fiona’s room, Liam moved into the boy’s room and you either stay in my bed when I’m not home, bunk with Debbie or stay with Lip. That way you’re both safe from Terry.”

“I don’t know Ian.” Mandy said unsurely. “The whole Gallagher clan would know what my dad did to me and I’m not sure I’m ready for that.”

“Of course. I’m sorry that I pressured you Mandy.” Ian said, sounding dejected.

“Oh alright, fine! I’ll do it, I’ll talk to Fiona and if she agrees you can take Mickey and live happy ever after on the North Side.” Mandy teased.

“And that, Mandy, is why you’re my best friend. I owe you one, Mandy, I promise! Thank you!” Ian chirped before hanging up to call Mickey.

To say Mickey had been stunned by the news would be a huge understatement. After his little scuffle with Clayton, Mickey was expecting to be no longer welcome on the North Side, not looked at with knowing eyes like a kicked puppy. But the part about Mandy, Ian going all out to think of a way for Mandy to be safe too, that really tugged at heart strings he would later deny even existing.

“They’d really let me live with them?” Mickey asked sheepishly.

“Of course, Mick! They want you to be safe just as much as I do.” Ian told Mickey earnestly.

“And your siblings would take Mandy in?” He questioned.

“Most likely, yeah. I mean, Lip likes Mandy and Fiona’s a nurturer. They wouldn’t be able to live with themselves if they knew what Terry did to Mandy and didn’t try to help her.” Ian explained.

“Fuck Ian, I-I don’t know what to fucking say.” Mickey admitted.

“Say you’ll do it. Say you’ll move in with me.” Ian pushed.

“If your siblings will take Mandy in then… Yeah, I’ll fucking move in with you, Gallagher.” Mickey relented.

“Awesome.” Ian chirped, grinning so hard that his face hurt.

“Go down with Mandy to the shitty Gallagher house tomorrow, make sure they let her stay.” Mickey ordered. “I’ll show up with her clothes and shit a few hours later, got it?”

“Yeah Mick, I got it.” Ian reassured Mickey.

Saying it was one thing, but making it happen turned out to be harder said than done. Fiona wasn’t crazy of the idea of Mandy staying with them, but once Mandy explained what things were like in the Milkovich house, she relented. However hearing about all of that made Lip unsure that he wanted Mandy to be his “girlfriend” like she wanted, because dating came with taking on someone else’s baggage and Lip didn’t seem so sure about taking on Mandy’s baggage, or so he shared over a cigarette between the two brothers in the van in the back yard.

“Dude, are you seriously saying you wouldn’t date her because her dad raped her?” Ian demanded, giving his older brother the nastiest look he could muster.

“Don’t say it like that!” Lip huffed. “It’s just a lot of baggage to take on!”

“She’s not asking you to take on her baggage, douche bag. She’s asking you to be her boyfriend.” Ian reminded him.

“And that **means** taking on her baggage!” Lip argued.

“No, it means dating her and being monogamous.” Ian scoffed.

“Fuck off Ian, it’s not like you’ve ever been someone’s real boyfriend before.” Lip pointed out.

“Well…” Ian mused.

“Dude, no way! You’re dating someone?” Lip asked.

“Mickey, well, sort of.” Ian admitted, a big smile on his face.

“Mickey Milkovich?” Lip gaped.

“Yep, he hangs out with me all the time without having sex and I know for a fact he hasn’t been sleeping with anyone else.” Ian told his brother.

“Shit, man, I can’t believe you managed that.” Lip said.

“Yeah, well that’s because you’re a dick.” Ian shrugged, earning a laugh out of his brother.

“I guess we’ll both be dating Milkovichs then.” Lip said with a small smirk.

Ian grinned and shoved Lip’s shoulder. He knew he could get his brother to see it his way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have something planned for the next chapter that could be pretty triggering, just a head's up. If I end up writing it I'll be sure to put a warning at the beginning of the chapter.


	24. Chapter 24

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mickey moves in with the North Side Gallaghers, but Terry doesn't take kindly to two of his children abandoning him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter features child abuse by Terry Milkovich. It's purely physical abuse, not sexual and it's not graphic.

When it came to moving Mickey in with the North Side Gallaghers, Mickey decided to just pack up his clothes, opting to leave everything else at the shitty house on the South Side. With all his clothes packed away in trash bags, Mickey took the stolen car he had been using and took it up to the North Side, ditching it in an abandon parking lot before walking all the way to the residence he would now be staying at. When he had entered the house, Jacob Gallagher letting him in easily, like he didn’t know Mickey was one of the most feared thugs on the South Side, he felt sheepish and baffled by Lucy and Clayton’s kindness and hospitality. Not only did they witness Mickey’s freak out about Clayton assuming he and Ian were together, but they hadn’t known him long and were opening their home to him. Sure, they were doing it for Ian’s sake, but they were letting a known thug live with them for the sake of a kid they didn’t even know existed a year ago.

Lucy Gallagher had smiled warmly at Mickey when he entered the house with caution never before seen, causing a lump in Mickey’s throat that only seemed to grow as Clayton welcomed him happily to their home.

“We’re glad you made it here safe, Mickey.” Clayton Gallagher told the teenage thug, putting a friendly hand on his shoulder.

“Um, thanks, Mr. and Mrs. Gallagher, for all this shit.” Mickey said, his tone more timid than he can remember it being since he was a child.

“It’s no problem, Mickey.” Lucy said with a smile.

But it wasn’t nothing and they all knew it. Mickey nodded stiffly and Ian sent his new housemate a coy smile.

“C’mon Mick, I’ll show you your room.” Ian said, nodding towards the stairs.

Mickey let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding, gracious to be given an out from the staring contest he appeared to be in with the adult Gallaghers. Ian led him to a room across the hall from Ian, painted beige and occupying a comfortable looking queen size bed. A gorgeous hand-crafted dresser was perched against the wall and Mickey couldn’t help but admire it.

“This is gonna be my room?” Mickey asked in disbelief.

The room was so perfect and the comforter looked softer than anything Mickey had ever seen before. Ian smiled knowingly as he nodded, remembering when he saw his own room for the first time. The North Side Gallaghers sure knew how to live, and as Mickey tentatively sat on the edge of the bed, he let it sink in that the comforter _was_ softer than anything he’d ever touched before.

“Fuck.” Mickey breathed, reaching his hand out to run it down the comforter.

“I swear this place is a palace.” Ian agreed. “My bed has to be made out of like feathers or something, because I’ve never slept on something so soft before.”

Mickey smiled sadly. His own bed in the Milkovich House of Horrors was stiffer than a board, hard like a teenage boy when the wind blows the wrong fucking way. The idea of sleeping on something so soft was a welcomed thought.

“Anyway, you know where everything else in the house is, so there’s no need for a tour or anything dumb like that.” Ian said easily, plopping down next to Mickey on the bed.

Mickey snorted a laugh as he snapped back to reality, dropping his trash bag full of clothes onto the floor and turning to Ian with a snarky grin on his face.

“You always say fucking obvious shit like that, Gallagher?” Mickey teased the younger boy.

“Oh fuck you, Milkovich.” Ian teased back, knocking his shoulder against Mickey’s with a little laugh.

The boys snickered as they playfully shoved each other, getting more and giddy with every shove. Ian didn’t know where the nerve came from, but Ian leaned in and kissed Mickey, something he hadn’t attempted since the first time they had sex, and Mickey kissed back. It was sloppy and quick, but it was the best kiss of Ian’s life. He pulled back with a grin and noticed Mickey wore a matching grin.

“Not too gay for you?” Ian teased.

“I don’t know, I’ll get back to you on that.” Mickey chuckled, swopping in and capturing Ian’s lips into another kiss.

They stayed there, just kissing, for a long time and Mickey pondered if he should tell Ian that he was his first kiss. When the boys finally pulled away, smiles etched on their cheeks, Mickey figured that it really didn’t matter that Ian was his first kiss.

The first week of living with the North Side Gallaghers was like a dream for Mickey. It didn’t feel quite real yet, having all this time with Ian, chances to steal kisses and touches, being able to have sex in an actual bed for the first time since the first time they had sex. It was like living in a bubble, a bubble containing bliss, and the bubble lasted until he had to go back to the South Side to help Iggy move some cocaine. The Gallaghers didn’t want it in their house, but they didn’t push on Mickey moving up the latter, but Ian reminded Mickey that he could always go back to school, become a “college bitch” like the rest of the North Side yuppies would want.

Iggy and Mickey had agreed to meet up at The Alibi and at first it was good to see his brother again. Iggy was the most un-judgmental person Mickey had ever met, he didn’t give a fuck about what other people did and Mickey had once considered coming out to him before he was reminded how Iggy couldn’t keep a secret. The brothers got ready to leave the Alibi and head out to the warehouse where the cocaine was stashed when Terry Milkovich entered The Alibi and marched over to them.

“Where the fuck have you been?” Terry demanded.

Mickey could feel his hair all over his body standing up as Terry’s rancid, alcohol drenched breath hit his face. Terry looked like he was on a bender and his breath didn’t suggest otherwise.

“Been staying with a friend.” Was all Mickey offered.

Terry’s hand flew and Mickey’s head snapped left, his cheek stinging from the harsh slap. It wasn’t the first time Terry had ever hit Mickey, and something about the wild haze in Terry’s age made Mickey’s stomach recoil and his gut said that Terry wasn’t done yet.

“Mandy left too. Funny how you and your slut sister seem to think you can just walk out on me.” Terry hissed.

“We didn’t walk out on you, Pops.” Mickey lied.

“Don’t lie to me!” Terry shouted, hitting Mickey again, this time a punch to the stomach.

Mickey bent over, grabbing his stomach, receiving a punch to the jaw. Terry’s fist came down again and again and again and again. Mickey was on the floor, taking the beating without fighting back, knowing from personal experience that it was the worst thing he could do. Terry was ripped away from his youngest son by several men, there was shouting all around as Mickey lied flat on the ground with blood seeping out of his face. Iggy helped his younger brother up as Kev was shouting and waving his arms angrily at Terry.

“You okay, bro?” Iggy asked softly.

Mickey spat out blood and rolled his shoulders. Terry was still looking at him, pure hatred was showing in the older man’s features and deep in Mickey’s gut he knew that if he ever saw the other man again, this would be nothing in compared to what happened.

“I’m fucking fine. Let’s go.” Mickey grumbled.

The brothers left the bar, Kev blocking Terry from following the Milkovich brothers as they slipped into Iggy’s stolen car. It took Mickey a minute to realize Iggy wasn’t going towards the warehouse, he was heading towards the North Side.

“The fuck you doing? We need to go move that coke for Uncle Ronnie.” Mickey reminded him.

“You’re in no shape to do it, bro. I’ll get Jamie to help me.” Iggy said. “You just got the shit kicked out of you, dipshit. Take a break, you earned it.”

Mickey rolled his eyes but kept his mouth shut for the remainder of the ride. Iggy dropped him off outside the neighborhood and Mickey walked the rest of the way, ignoring the gawking at his bloody clothes and face. When he slipped into the house, it was Jacob that noticed him first.

“Holy crap!” The kid exclaimed, blinking in surprise. “Mickey, are you okay?”

“I’m fine.” Mickey grunted.

Ian saw him second and his jaw fell open.

“Holy shit, Mickey! What the fuck happened?” Ian demanded.

“I ran into Terry.” Mickey admitted. “Bastard didn’t take too kindly to me and Mandy leaving. He was tryin’ to send a message, South Side isn’t safe for me anymore.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I'm not very good at writing violence, but I hope you guys enjoyed it. Sorry that it took so long to post.


End file.
